The Sociopathic Liar – Beware of this Dangerous Sociopath

The one behavior that characterizes the human race is so widespread that most of the time we don’t even notice it. It is extremely hard to spot and it is even harder to stop. It is lying.

Most people have lied in their life. Whether it was to protect feelings, avoid trouble, impress, or to simply get what they want, not many people can say they have never told a lie.

However, there is one extreme type of liar that you should beware of; the sociopathic liar.

On first impressions, you may find you actually like or are drawn to the sociopath. It’s not surprising as more often than not they are indeed charming and likable. Watch out, these type of liars can cause untold damage and mayhem once they lead you into their web of lies and deceit.

Sociopaths lie the most because they are incapable of feelings and do not want to understand the impact of their lies. They may even get a thrill out of lying at your expense. Once they tell an initial lie they go on to tell many more lies in an attempt to cover up the lies they started, or just for the “fun” of it.

A sociopath rarely reveals his or her feelings or emotions. You won’t often hear them laugh, cry, or get angry. These kinds of liars tend to live in their own little world and always find ways to justify their dishonest deeds. They do not respect others and place their own needs first and foremost.

If someone questions the sociopath’s lies they can be incredibly devious in the way they cover things up. This can include placing the blame at someone else’s door or by inventing complex stories to cover up their untruths.

Sociopaths can be so good at lying that they are able to pass lie detector tests. This means they often escape jail or don’t even get prosecuted for the crimes they permit. (That’s not to say all sociopathic liars are criminals, of course).

It is believed by some experts that sociopathic lying is connected to the mental illnesses Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD).

If you come across someone who you think is a sociopathic liar, beware!

36 thoughts on “The Sociopathic Liar – Beware of this Dangerous Sociopath

  1. Indeed, sociopathic compulsive liars are on the more severe end of the spectrum. I’d agree there’s a strong narcissistic element, and also often a sadistic enjoyment in deceiving others. As a therapist I work with compulsive liars regularly who genuinely seek help. The compulsive liar who tell you that they are lying is already, at that point, on the road to recovery. But the sociopath may have a different agenda. I find they rarely enter treatment voluntarily unless with a hidden agenda. I had an example recently where someone attended, in my view, to appease their partner who threatened to leave. They also refused to pay for the session arguing that they never formally agreed to the fee. This is unheard of. Yet it shows an element beyond compulsive dishonesty, but one of exploitation. Hence I like your distinction between the liar who wants help, perhaps they’re in touch with shame, versus the sociopath who wants to deceive, exploit and enjoy getting one up on the other.

    • So I’ve been working with this woman for the past two years and realised very early on that she obviously had an issue with telling the truth. On first impressions she would come across as extremely charming and would seemingly go out of her way to help people but it soon became apparent that it was just a form of control and manipulation. There was no one who was exempt either. Her husband and son also worked for the same company and she used exactly the same tactics on them and manipulate to serve her own selfish needs. The worse thing was she would get you to the point of trusting and every single time, would end up abusing that trust by backstabbing and being two faced. It is amazing to witness/see – evil personified. For my own survival, once I realised she was a psycho I made it my mission to ensure I stayed at arms length and began my journey on trying to pinpoint exactly what was wrong with her. Calling her a compulsive liar didn’t describe accurately the real level of deceit and manipulation that she exhibited and then just today, I stumbled across the meaning of Sociopath which describes her down to a tee. I also firmly believe there is a touch of NPD there too. She has managed to create MASSIVE conflict out of nothing and has always manage to end up looking an innocent bystander. I pride myself of being able to see the good in all the people in my life – even those who exist beyond my choice. But her ………. evil personified. Devoid of emotion, guilt or an honest word. She lied to me once about having breast cancer!? but asked me not to mention it to her family?!! Turns out there was nothing wrong at all and she was just trying to manipulate opinion. In my life of being lucky enough to say I am surrounded by wonderful people, she is the only purveyor of evil that I know. I’m working really hard on ensuring the feeling of hate doesn’t persist in my consciousness as it doesn’t serve me well. Trying to get to the neutral stage. Problem is, I have to witness her mess with people on a daily basis. She manages a team of people who regularly complain to me about her and the fact that she makes their lives a misery. Not a lot I can do about it which bothers me.

      • I can SO RELATE!
        Unfortunately I have entered a relationship with this Person!
        He’s so manipulative! His mother told him she wouldn’t give in any more money! Since he has Invented Job interviews and Lied SO MUCH! Now his mother THINKS he Has A Job and has been giving him Money! IM DISGUSTED!
        I have caught him IN SO many Lies! I came across this website trying to find More about it an the More I Read The More I believe he Is REALLY SICK! :( he’s SICK! I myself suffer from anxiety disorder but this is LIKE NOTHING I Have ever witnessed IN MY LIFE!
        He has No Feelings! NO GUILT! And LAUGHS when He gets Results Froms his horrendous Lies! Now I just Need to Figure out how To deal with This and MOVE ON! The more I think about his deceit and how DeeP It Is the sicker I Feel!
        We haven’t been intimate in MONTHS and he says NOTHING about it! No FEELINGS! Also he is emotionally BLIND TO anyone else’s feelings around him!
        I’m sorry U have to work with this person and I can honestly say Ur Are Not alone in this Crazyness and Unfortunatley neither is Ur Co-worker! It’s horrible! GOOD Luck!

        • I’m going through same thing. The sad part, I’m married to this person. It would 16 years this coming July. I don’t think we are going to make it. The meddlesome mother in law is not helpful at all. She manage to manipulate her by lying creating drama, kaos and confusion. Then plays the victim. Then the mother in law accuse the children of taking sides. Which is wrong! What grandmother would do this? Every year it gets worst.

    • Adam I really need your help my sons father fits all of these and he even passed a court ordered mental evaluation. He is using his lies to try and hurt me by using my son as a pawn. Please how can I contact you? I knew there was something mentally wrong with him but no one would believe me of course because he is charismatic and knows how to not show emotion. Please can you help me? hes driving me crazy and most of all my son is suffering he’s only 5 and he doesnt deserve to live like this.

  2. I believe my sister is a patholigcal /compulsive liar. I have just found out that over the last 3 years she has spent 12,000 pound that belong to our mum. she has also spent 5,000 pound of her daughters money and pawned all her daughter jewerly. Please Help i feel so betralyed and angry/numb. She has lied even stupid little lies,I reflect back over the years and just feels nothing was real.

    • I can honestly relate my sister is also a sociopathic liar. She has stolen money, clothes, etc. from everyone in our house. She has no remorse for her actions, nor does she seem to care (or show any emotions) when she’s caught or when she cries. She is only 15 years old, and the word manipulative doesn’t begin to describe her. She stole my car key (still will not admit it), which was the only copy I had, and I ended up having to get another key replaced for $220. She is definitely the type of person who is out for self, and does not care who her destructive ways hurts. It’s kind of disgusting how one person can have no guilt, remorse or empathy for anyone.

  3. I’d like to know more about mythomania, I believe that my boyfriend might be a compulsive liar. Of course, I didn’t say anything to him, because he would never listen to me. He tells me that at the age of 12 he beat out a 16 year old adolescent and put him in a come. Please note that he is very skinny and doesn’t practice any sport. He also believes that he needs to smoke in order to hide his bad sides, that’s his excuse to smoke. I’d really like to help him and tell him, but I know nothing about all this, so if you read this, please help me out, thanks much!

    • Sounds like you need to be very careful, Chloe! You can’t change people, people change themselves; you should be able to talk to him about anything, if you cannot, you have to consider if that is the kind of relationship you wish to commit yourself to; lying doesn’t make for a happy life!

  4. We absollutely have a sociopathic liar in our family. I thought he was a “compulsive liar” and he is but he is also the sociopath. He lies even when the truth sounds better. He picks incidents from various occassions and pieces together a ‘new’ story of an incident so it fits whatever lie he is telling. The thing that is so disturbing to me is that his father believes every lie he tells him so his father believes everyone is out to get him. He is in prison convicted by 12 and I am familiar with the case and I KNOW he’s guilty. But he is denying it and is trying for a new trial and of course his father is all for it.

  5. I believe my son is a sociopathic liar.he lies about most things ranging from little white lies to huge lies.he will look you in the face and tell you hes black when hes white(exaggerated). He is not a very liked person due to many times he has had threats of violence against him.mixed with alcohol and drug intake he is a time bomb.i fear for my family’s safety as one day I know something will happen.when I confront him about things he has done he denys it and I have no proof to prove him wrong . Please help

    • I understand the “having no proof thing”. It’s the same scenario with my sister. She will know you know what she did and that she’s lying and still stand in your face and tell you a complete lie, even when the truth is easier. She has stolen money, and many family members keep their purses close at all times when she’s around due to money coming up missing. She breaks into my room and stills money and clothes (just to hide them in her room or throw them away). My mother seems to think stealing siblings clothes is normal, I beg to differ. I notice that you wrote your comment a year ago, I hope that your situation with your son has gotten better. My mom has just decided for us to do family therapy (not because my sister is a sociopath ) but because we need to be closer. I read something tonight that it quite unsettling, “no one is special to a sociopath. you cannot change a sociopath and if you think you can you a merely fooling yourself. They do not have the capability nor the desire to care about you unless you serve an immediate necessary purpose for them.” How do you deal with your son on a daily basis, because I am pulling my hair out and driving myself insane over something neither you nor I have the ability to change. Hope I wasn’t a downer!

  6. i am compulsive liar. it is a disese and i hate myself for it! it is life ruining and i would never wish it upon anyone. it hurts not only myself but the people that get dragged into it. i had not noticed my disorder properly until i had ruined my whole life. leaving myself with noone at all.

    • It isn’t a condition, it is a choice; you have admitted it, that makes you bigger, and more powerful than any lie, so just keep disabling the lies, by telling the truth.

      There is no need for you to tell someone you do not like their hair style, or clothes, or the colour of their car, or the decor of their home; if you do not like it, it doesn’t matter, you have no need to say so, as it is unimportant – we all know what kind of lies harm people.

    • If you are going to hate yourself for lying Jessie, please be sure to love yourself for admitting to it, it is easier to forgive someone when they admit it, my hope is that my parents would admit it, then I could forgive them, I so often hug them, and tell them that I love them, yet still they lie, and it is soul destroying, it makes me feel so hated by them! and I feel so accused by those who will believe them, it is so fearful!

      Don’t just hate yourself, Jessie, hate the lies, spite them, by telling the truth, and forgive yourself, laugh, sing, shout, and change, you can change! Its your choice.

      Tomorrow is a new day, Jessie, you will know how to approach it, for you have told us you hate lying.
      I your lies have caused anything that you can now correct, then do so, for the sake of others who maybe suffering, but if you do, then forgive yourself also, Jessie, and we will forgive you.

  7. I think my mother may be a sociopathic liar, I was looking up compulsive liar, thinking it may describe a certain behaviour that fits her own, but having read about the sociopathic liar, I feel it is more apt.

    It has, along with both of my parents abuse, and I have to say that dad has also been very dishonest with people, even though they call themselves christians, and will be in chapel later today, their lies and bullying, has almost led to my suicide, and my mother would stand by, and continue to lie, even if it did cost me my own life.

    They have both seen fit to deliberately lie to others, to give a false impression to anybody I may later talk to, paving the way, before I get to see them, my doctor, their ministers, the Farm Crisis Network, the police, they have lied to them all, with no thought for me, my reputation, or future, it all means nothing at all to them. She has also tried to hit me, and as children, she used to hit around the head so very, very, hard.
    They have also lied to the DWP for many years, about disability claims, I did wonder if telling those lies, have forced them to tell others, which I know it will have done, but even before any claim, as young children, mum would lie, to avoid taking responsibility for her actions, such as hitting a bus with a tractor and trailer, she just drove on, and would never admit it, even though both of us, her children, were riding on the top of the load, and told her what had happened.

    It is the lies she has told about myself over the last four years, that has destroyed my life, and she cares not one jot; lies have served her very well throughout her life, and lies are the first thing she turns to, and life is all about her needs, other people’s needs hold no value for her, unless their is public reward for being seen to be helpful, or caring.

    Abuse and violence is what awaits her family, whilst the most extreme charm is reserved for others, dad is exactly the same in that way, the most bizarre charm is reserved for others, and falling over themselves to help others, whilst he puts his own family through the most terrifying hell.
    Unfortunately, they are able to find people within their church, who like their charm, and encourage them.

    I found out a few years ago, that my sister had felt suicidal because of our childhood, and she sought counselling.
    I have asked my parents to stop lying about me, and think about what they are doing to my life, my work, my reputation, and relationships, but you just get yet another lie thrown at you for doing so, she makes up events, and false situations, and will not admit the things she has said to others, or even written, even challenged with the letters, letters she said were never written, and suggested I was making up in my mind. It is all so cruel, and all deliberate.
    I was told by my mother that they could lose the house, so I did all I could to help them, giving her many thousands, much of which was cash, as she wanted, and yet she now denies it all in front of others, she has kept no records of the money I gave her in cash.
    Mum led me to believe she had no money, and no savings, I have since found out this was not true, she has numerous savings, in ISAs, and had told me she has none at all, as she has never had any money to save – but it just wasn’t true, yet I put their needs before my own, to help them.

    I am worried that she may have implied I have been violent towards her, which just isn’t true, and as a women, she knows she will be believed, and she has very proudly told me, that “no-one will believe you,” for she knows she is the one people will believe, being a women, yet she is so deceitful, abusive, and has, at 73 years of age, only just stopped hitting me, her son, and only because I have been more outspoken about her behaviour, before, I just kept it all private from all but two of my closest friends who were going through very similar themselves.

    They have nearly cost me my life, they will be in chapel tomorrow, absorbing the encouragement from people who do not know the truth about their behaviour.

    I have been at my wits end, for just what can you do about a liar? They so often find an audience, which is exactly what they want, it boosts their bravado.

    It is shocking to know that your own parents would have stood back and let you take your own life, just to hide their own actions, but they did exactly that!

    My father tells the DWP that he can hardly walk so I have recently discovered, yet for years they have been going dancing, and have been dancing tonight – when I told my parents their hindering my work, and hindering my life, was pushing me over the edge, after asking them to help, for three years, and after writing to their Methodist minister pleading for help, who also did nothing, after telling my parents their behaviour was pushing me over the edge, my mother just snarled at me in reply, and said “people who talk about suicide, don’t do it!” walk past me, and went dancing for the evening.
    I had worked for them for nothing, to help them save the farm, I had given them more than I could afford to, to help them keep their home, and yet she has told so many lies, many of them attacking my character, and it has crushed me; she also bullies dad into lying on her behalf, and lies for him also – it is a frightening situation!

  8. My husband is a sociopathic liar.

    He has ruined his own life, mine and the life of our children. He puts his interests above everyone and everything.

    He lies when the truth will do.

    He has found himself in deep financial and probably criminal trouble. He wants us all to sacrifice for him. He’ll get off with no down side, I’ll be lumbered with another debt. There’s no remorse. And it will happen again. And again. And again.

    And yet when you put it to him that his behaviour is abhorrent, he becomes defensive and pushes it back.

    And he’s threatening to kill himself if I don’t agree to help him “undo” all his lies. Lies, upon lies, upon lies, upon lies.

    When will this ever end?

    • Wow this entire page blows my mind! I was dating a woman for two years that was and is the extreme of the definition of sociopath and I honestly started to consider I was losing it somehow. Eventually I started to investigate more and inevitably I found messages and texts and her phone rang any time of the day or night all thru the night with guys sending pics of themselves etc. I actually heard a voice mail with a guys saying when can we meet again to finish what we started and that was all I needed to leave her once and for all because obviously I had done so before several times. She lies for no reason and no matter what I say to her somehow I am to blame and will go so far as to try and tell me how I think and feel. lol.. I knew after a long while honestly that my suspicions were correct but I just could not seem to break away from her and I am sure the 90 texts a day I get still to this day helped. She avoids me confronting her and its an impossible conversation to talk to someone like this and fortunately it made me so mad that I started digging deeper and even then she hides all her boyfriends and fb’s very well and any friend of hers I had the opportunity to ask about her they all clam up and say nothing. I have never seen anything like this and she actually has people believing I am the problem! she will admit a lie I caught her in and then deny it ever happened at all and its the most frustrating thing. Finally I told her she can either come clean and tell me the truth about everything that has been going on or I am not ever speaking to her again. Her response was “what question I answer everything” when in fact I cannot recall her ever ansering anything directly.. She has all male friends and is highly sexual and very aggressive to say the least.. Thanks everyone your stories helped me figure this nightmare out before everything was destroyed.. I do not wish having to deal with this type of person on my worst enemy.

    • I’ve just came out of a relationship I’m hurt 18 months engaged to be married but the control and lies were too much he would be on the phone for hours saying I was on to my brother, he barely says 2 words to him when he visits. He doesn’t answer his phone saying he doesn’t get a signal. Once he left his phone on by accident I could hear a female voice him asking her if she wanted a coffee, he said it was his mps secretary he explains his problems to her.
      I think the last straw was I wanted to have lunch with my friend on my day off he said why can’t you cancel your daughters day instead of choosing our day bearing in mind I hadn’t been out with my friends whilst with him for 18 months. Total control freak.
      He asked me in the beginning you can move in with me I said to wait the year. After 6 months it was im on benefits it would ruin it if you moved in the list is endless I wish these people could be locked away I’ve been badly emotional damaged doubt if ill trust again

  9. There are two types of liars, those that are compulsive and those that are sociopaths. I married a sociopath. I knew he lied, he acted as if he could not help it, he even said things such as “what if I can’t quit lying” Then it escalated after his daughter got married, then his one sister died. he lies about everything big and small and pulls me in and I have been noticing he does get satisfaction when he can win me over. He told his daughter I am crazy and on drugs. I was the one who brought up giving money to her for her wedding, she is not young by the way. I did make a major mistake talking about Jehovah’s witness not knowing the new son in law was one, but it was one sentence as in people on my road should keep their doors shut due to they are coming door to door. My husband lies about money and awhile back he almost bankrupted us, I made a plan with a company who helps people in debt, it took six years to do it but we did. Now he is gambling, I found he owed $75.00 to a work friend. I have had spine surgery and did not want to go to a bar with him and his sister, he said he would not be gone long, 5 hours later and then he said the only thing he did wrong was not be realistic with telling me the time that was needed to get there and home. He went to a motel, I guess he did that thinking that was my worst fear, losing him. He lost his wedding band somewhere at the motel, he said he looked for it but not like I would have being out there in sunlight the next day, he bought a new one. He is going on a golf outing, he even told me I ok’ed it, no I did not. Then he said he already gave them the $50 deposit of the almost $500 for the 4 days and 3 nights. he told me there is a stripper club some of the guys go to but he won’t go, I shouldn’t worry. He said yesterday he would rather take care of things for himself only in foul words than touch me. I went to my Dr and I am situationally depressed, which I knew but I also wanted to make sure that the medication I need to take isn’t the problem because that is what he is telling people, that it makes me crazy. My sister had a stroke and now needs a cardiac catheterization, I am worried about her. Brett Gyllenskog asked yesterday after calling me names and screaming if I loved him because I used the past tense of love, I don’t member saying love to him! He then said if I don’t love him then what’s the point, yes it is my fault in his eyes, again. I refuse to be scared because now I know he feeds off it. He told me I was his friend and his lover and he would never go out to a bar or on a vacation without me, even insulted the guys he works with that they live near each other and go to social events together and he would never be like that, but here he is going “golfing” which is on his “bucket list” He actually used that term. That must have took at least 15 minutes of his drive home to think that one up. I could vomit in his “bucket list” He is learning to lie better, lower toned voice etc. he acts as if he has me figured out. Like with the gambling, he just didn’t tell me the amount. The bar, “I didn’t factor in the time and you are ridiculous thinking an hour when it takes that long to get to and from our house. He said he would spend a “short time” at the bar. Then I said to him “about an hour” Bar, not driving and even then I gave in due to his sister died. Oh and he used a term I had the florist put on the flowers it was something like “sister first, mother always”. He had to sound good on facebook. He throws his arm down like the king when he has to stop watching golf or football, in fact he enjoys making me wait to talk until commercials. That is easily seen. The think that made me understand that he is a sociopath was when he went back on me being his friend. That was my lightbulb moment and it hurt. Now I am in limbo, not sure what is next except like I said I have my sister to worry about and taking care of myself, I had to retire due to my spine, which reminds me, instead of saying I have a spinal cord injury which is the truth he told his daughter it was my medications that are the problem. I am not “allowed” around her by her own words because she doesn’t feel comfortable “yet” and then she skirted around the time I took getting ready and about medications. My husband was to straighten things out before this and he came home and said too many people there, on faceboook, one other person who stayed an hour. He had time to talk to them, instead he made things much worse by yes lying about me to his own daughter. He was eating wings and hanging out, facebook again, he is incapable of seeing himself for what he truly is and apparently he has told everyone in his family lies about me. I realized that because he had me convinced I talked about his daughter to a niece of his. when I brought it up she told me not to worry about it, she is sick of the gossip! So yes, it took years, I knew he lied but I didn’t know he was a sociopath until he was willing to take the one thing way I thought we had, friendship and we would enjoy vacations and going out together because friends do that. See in this clique who he claimed he did not like and would never hang around with, they are not taking their wives. It is bad, not sure what is next. I wrote him an email and was pretty civil and I was angry and crying, he is not home from work. I texted him. what is the point of being afraid. I read where the one who doesn’t care is the one who wins, well I want him to stop being a lying sociopath and I will not be called names. I was married before and he was abusive in all ways. Looks like I did it again except he is a liar, he did push me once but I flew hard into cabinets and if I would have been hurt he would have lost his job. I do not think he was concerned about my health or if I was hurt, but he has not of yet pushed or hurt me physically again. He does not want me to have an affair, he obsesses about his first wife having an affair when he was sleeping but yet they went on to have a daughter then HE had an affair after playing some strip game, not strip poker. I doubt his wife even had an affair and when I finally said so, his eyes showed, this one time, yes he lied. there is more but I am feeling angry and he will be home soon so I am going to stop. Praying for this evil to stop.

  10. I’m so glad I stumbled upon this older sister has bin a dangerous liar since I can remember,our mom said that she has always bin this way,she had filed false police reports,many being rape,which was found out were lies,told people that our mom was dead,I was in prison,just absolute crazy things,and for no reason,and when I finally get my fill of it,and confront her about the lies,she goes insane,slanders me,trys to ruin my life,called child protective services on me,the police,tried to ruin my relationships with friends and family,by now,the family has washed their hands with her,nobody will have anything to do with her,so she gets new relationships often,friends,boyfriend,recently a husband,but these people don’t know her yet,so they believe her,it hurts that they actually believe her lies.

  11. In India caste system and dowry system prevails. I got married 30 years ago . It was an intercaste marriage without dowry. From day one my mother in law and has made my life hell. She would be nice and soft in front of my husband and father in law but abuse me all the time.I saw a dual personality in her a hypocrite.
    In need she would use me and lie things about me.
    Now after my father in law expired she has become very bad. She besides defaming me in the neighborhood relatives and even the fruit and vegetable vendors who deliver things at home.She lies says things beyond my imagination.
    Recently she has started doing funny things.
    The pot in which I planted a money plant, was found broken;
    the pot a horse shaped one in which my daughter had planted some seeds,she broke its front legs and told us that she was trying to scare the rat and in the process it happened,
    I replaced and bought another pot and found its one leg broken
    once a mouse was lying still on the floor when she went closer it moved a little she brought a plastic dust piker and pressed its neck and killed it was shocking to see the poor thing shake in pain
    she looks cool nobody can know what she really is
    she behaves like a sixteen year old in front my husband and any male who visits us

    i am very scared of her and am very careful in my own house i am a stranger in my own house His daughters think she is nice and r not ready to understand what she is doing

  12. I am so glad I found this website. I have been trying to find out what is wrong with my 16 year old daughter she tells the most horrific lies. She went missing for 3 days and she knew she was going to be in trouble. So she went to the school and told them I was abusing her. She told the school that my husband came into her room one night while she was sleeping and pulled his pants down and fondled himself. Because he wouldn’t let her stay the night over her grandmother’s house. So after all the investigating everything was cleared. With the fondling situation. My husband has left and don’t want to have anything to do with her every again and she doesn’t care. She was caught in so many lies and she still won’t tell the truth. All she do is lie. If she doesn’t get her way we all be on the look out for her. Just about everything she says is a lie. I love my daughter but I just don’t want to be around her I am always stressed. It’s messing with my help and counseling isn’t helping. I don’t know what to do.

  13. I have this friend who is a maasive liar and recently, me and some other friends, discovered the biggest lie he ever told us – he told us he was going on a trip for two weeks, in a foreign country, in order to take part in an internship for a job. We busted him when we found out he had been home the whole time, although we suspected it – someone ran into him on the street on a day when he was supposed to be abroad, he has no evidence of ever being there, he posted false statuses on social media, claiming he was there,while the location in the status was our hometown and he told vague stories about the place where he was, the sort of stories you can tell using wikipedia, no details, no feelings- nothing. Upon “returning” we went out and we confronted him, telling him we know that he lied and asking him what it is that made him lie. On a regular basis, he lies about every aspect of his life – work, relationships, friendships (he claims certain people are his friends whereas these people barely know him) and this was the fourth or fifth lie of this magnitude in the past 3 years…we tried to understand what kind of liar he is, if he needs medical help or he’s just having fun at our expense. During the talk, he showed no emotion whatsoever, he just kept smiling as if he was glad we had discovered his lie and wanted some form of appreciation for inventing so much of his life up to this point. We no longer trust him and he has cut any form of communication with us – phone, facebook, email. We don’t know how,we should proceed because we can’t make up our mind if he’s sick or he just doesn’t care enough about anyone to tell the truth. Can anyone help? A

  14. I am the victim of a pathalogical liar.In the 3 months I and this woman fell in love she promised me the world and was still living with her husband and sleeping with other men when I was seeing her.It has nearly destroyed me and she shows no remorse for her actions.I will find it difficult to trust any woman again.

    • I know Stephen I’m the same I’ve just split with a man who told so many lies when I looked up this site the resemblance was remarkable bit scary I wasted 18 months of my life giving my all I even said yes to marrying him. Thank God I got out and quick but I’m scared of men now and don’t trust them anymore very damaging I feel they should pay a price.
      These are the people whom everyone thinks they are wondearful.

      • I can relate to you both. My nightmare started 7 years ago and I have only 4 weeks ago had the self perseverance, mental and physical strength to finally leave a charismatic sociopath. He was a master of disguise and illusion, he manipulated and controlled me without me even realising what was happening. His endless compliments, so many promises of a future together forever, the lists of shared interests and goals, the same values (what a joke) and how quickly the relationship progessed. I fell hook, line and sinker. He had created this perfect relationship, when all along it was just lies, deception and false love, he was playing a game. At first when I was suspicious of his lies and cheating, I said nothing in fear of losing him. Then one day I had the courage to confront him, he turned it all around, blamed the other women, his work friends and denied everything. I ended up feeling sorry for him and believing his lies. It was like I was under a spell. I started to become suspicious again and did my own investigating to try to get hard evidence. The lies he had told, so many other women, it was like I was watching a movie. Unfortunatley it was a horror movie and I was a main character. It destroyed my self-esteem and broke my spirit. He even managed to turn some of our mutual friends against me, because I looked like the deranged one for investigating. I was so embarrassed that he had humilated me. I could not talk to anyone about it. And I stayed with him! I was crazy! I wanted to break that spell but when we were together he made so many promises and made me feel like I was the only woman in the world. Then I became so sad. I used to be so positive and social, I had become a shell of a woman. He fianlly left and I was thankful. It was difficult but I made NO CONTACT with him and went into therapy. To my amazement a couple months later he contacted me to say he was sorry and he was mentally ill. Would I support him to recover and hopefully get back to together. Don’t fall for it, he had lost control because I had not contacted him, he wanted control back and he was fearful of exposure. No matter how much love, compassion, understanding, empathy you have for them you cannot ‘fix’ them, there is no magic cure, they are empty, hollow, vile individuals who are unable to feel love and accept that their words and behaviour is wrong. He was still lying and telling me what I wanted to hear. The golden rule NO CONTACT is so important. I still have mixed feelings, it’s early days, but I keep telling myself that the relationship was not real it was an illusion and he not worth it. I wish everyone who have had the unfortunate experience with a sociopath the strength to move on without them in their lives.

  15. My husband of 26 years is a liar. I have come to believe he’s a sociopath. If he says it, in his mind, it’s true. In the first 20 years of marriage, he never said he was sorry. Not once for anything. He’s a job hopper. Always saying he’s going to a better job, now I look back and realize they found him out. He will lie about paying bills while not paying them. I used to pay his bills to protect our credit, but I don’t anymore. I pay my bills. Little lies: He called our son and said he was getting ready for bed, when we were actually two miles from the house driving home. He doesn’t like our adult son and me talking. Because we do compare stories. And the stories don’t match. He will tell me something then swear he didn’t say it. Which used to make me question my sanity. More lies: He called me and said he was going to town to pick up dog food. The next day I asked where it was. He said he left it on the truck. I said it rained. He said he put it in the front seat. I went to get it. No dog food. He said the neighbor got it and took it to the barn. I said I’ve been at the barn the past hour. No dog food, no neighbor. I knew he was lying. When he got home I didn’t say anything. First thing out of his mouth ‘what the hell are you pissed about?’ He owes money to everyone. His excuse ‘their fault for trusting me’. I tried to divorce him, but he told the attorneys that we were working on our marriage and they kept pushing the date. He stalked me, harassed me, friends and family. After almost two years waiting, and he sold almost everything we had accumulated, I went back before we were bankrupt. At least I know where he is. Not knowing where he was, was actually worse. Laws don’t pertain to him. ‘Restraining orders won’t stop a bullet’ he said. Last week he told me the only reason that I was ‘allowed’ back was to prove that ‘he won’. He committed arson last week. Burning his friends truck for insurance scam. We’ve had 3 trucks to burn over the years. I’m afraid our house will burn eventually. He’s a bully. I can’t get away. I would have to change my name, where I work and not have any contact at all with my family. I can’t do that. I don’t have friends. He says he will live longer than me. I pray not.

    • Julie-

      I am sorry that you are in this situation and I feel for you tremendously. I will pray for your safety and that one day you will be able to leave him. I relate to the little stupid lies with my sister, they seem so unnecessary and yet they seem to get a kick out of telling lies to anyone who will listen. Sociopaths are very manipulative and obviously can be dangerous. Hopefully, you will be able to get a restraining order of some sort and get away. Hope life has gotten easier for you.

  16. I recently began working with a guitarist. I have dealt with sociopaths before in many ways and know their evils but he is the worst ever. He began doing strange things to attempt to mess up my singing drain me during practices. And other things. I asked him nicely to stop and he kept doing them. Now he delved in the metaphysical
    And was an energy vampire. I didn’t know that but cud sense and he admitted he used to be in the occult. One day he drained me badly and left and there was a cord between us. He began torturijg me soon after badly using metaphysics. Making me a puppet of some sorts. He really just wanted me to suffer bring me down. It was so so bad. He wanted attention. For two weeks he torturd me energetically. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t go to work and I almost had a heart attack. Pathological liar. Never admitted always denied. Even trying to calling him out on being a liar was draining. He was an extreme sociopath. Demonic almost. Torturing a victim denying it then even trying to manipulate me and make me out to be bad. He’d say well if u don’t like me why are u talking to me. I’d say I’m asking u to stop this energy crap??? As if he’s a ten ur old who doesn’t get it. Extremely evil. Some don’t believe in or understand energy vampires or black magic but it’s real and serious. This sociopath still is trying to break me down. If there was not an energy cord thing goijg on he’d have nothing over me but this is his control. It is very serious. He wants to make me suffer and he wants attention. Nothing will get him to stop. He will deny he’s doing it but even once apologized and said it’s out of his control or said well it might be an entity from me doing it. I don’t know how to get rid of this energy demon. He is the worst. I’m in a severe plight here. I’ve dealt with other energy vamps and they r nowhere near as vicious as this monster. He comes across as shy socially awkward and submissive. He is a devious monster and it’s a scary situation.

  17. Reading all of these messages rings so many bells – it’s terrifying.

    An old ex of mine contacted me about 15 months ago and we started an affair. We’re both married. Not proud of it, but just being honest (remember that?)

    She would compliment me to the hilt, and it was great for the first couple of months, then some strange stories would come her brother in law coming into the bathroom while she’s showering. then I was on holiday with my family for 3 weeks, she claimed to be on holiday with her hubby for the first week too…but never mentioned it, no photos or anything. Then the day before I was due back, she claimed he had found a message I’d sent her and she had to break it off. But within a couple of days she was back again.
    But then every few weeks she’d find a reason to fall out…then come back.
    Like the time I’d booked a cabin for a week for us, but she went silent a couple of days before and claimed to have collapsed and was in hospital for a few days.
    Next…claiming that her hubby had booked a romantic week away to Jamaica for them in October (This was August)..a couple of days before she was supposed to be going away, it changed to Mexico (I’d checked, there were no flights to Jamaica that day – she’d obviously done the same)…we spoke the night before she was due to leave and said she wouldn’t be in touch…I smelt another rat….3 days later I’m outside her house seeing her putting her daughter into a taxi – I made sure she saw me…
    Immediately on the defensive – pure defiance ‘Didn’t we go?? We had to come back, my mother in law died’…a few minutes later she died the night before they were due to leave and the suitcases were still in the hall..
    Since then she’s slipped up numerous times about her mother in law and other things…
    She has since finished our relationship – again – the week before Xmas…says she feels guilty about cheating on her hubby.
    Thinking back, there are loads more instances where she has lied…and she knows I know she lied…but refuses to discuss it – just goes off on one.

    The thing I can’t understand is that NONE of the lies were necessary.

    Reading this site has scared me, but helped me…I won’t be going back to her again, though I know she’ll be back in touch again shortly.

    My thoughts go out to all of you who have suffered more than me.

  18. I am so lost. My son is a sociopath. When I chose to start treating him as any other adult, it turned out he didn’t like that. In fact, just the opposite. He started telling people how cruel I was. How I wouldn’t feed him. And so on and so on. He has decided to go to family and tell them that I didn’t want him, so he moved in with them. He is also no longer taking his medication which keeps him a bit in check. People trust him because he looks innocent and charms them. They don’t see the person that glares at me and grits his teeth as he talks to me. Or lies to me, and blames me when I catch him in the lie and then try to turn it around on them. I want to visit my family, but because he is there, I am so uncomfortable.

    I don’t want to push him away, but he makes me cry constantly and it is so hard to be strong when he is constantly putting me down. I had to tell him to leave today before an actual fight happened, and my other son had to comfort me because I was so messed up.

  19. Im terrified . My daughter is engaged to one. He was so charming and just incredibly attentive to my daughter. Then I caught him in a whopper. He told us all her was diagnosed with bladder cancer. He had elaborate stories of lesions on CT scans. positive blood tests etc.. I took time of work to comfort my daughter as he was supposedly having surgery to have his bladder removed and a urostomy. Well the truth was he had a uroscopy that took about 15 min. When the MD came to talk to my daughter he said he was completely normal. When asked where was the cancer the doctor looked at us like we were nuts and said who said he had cancer. To which I said you told him he did. He looked me in the face with cold angry eyes and said I don’t know what your talking about he is completely normal. That was when my eyes were opened. Of course he had more lies to explain that this doctor was his doctors partner and because his case was so rare only his doctor knew the intricacies. To this day he has never owned up to the lie and continues to insist he was missed diagnosed with cancer. Well I don’t buy it but, my daughter did. I know she has red flags going off as she wont set a wedding date and is insisting on counseling. How do I get her to see he is a sociopath. She cant fix him. He has no remorse for doing this to us. I research everything he says and continue to catch him in more lies even about the most mundane things. I just don’t understand….my daughter is making excuses for him. I am so distraught.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>