To be a good liar it takes skill and for the people who have mastered this skill they can easily do it with no remorse and very convincingly.
It also takes self control and discipline to be a truly honest person which could be referred to as a skill also. The people who are completely honest will not tell a lie no matter what. In my opinion the skill you need to master is soemwhere between the two. Lying of course is wrong but being brutally honest also has its disadvantages and could be considered as negative behavior.
If you don’t do either one of these things then a negative experience can turn into a positive one. You don’t want to lie or be a compulsive liar but at the same time being brutally honest can hurt feelings too. For instance if you were ask by your best friend for your opinion on something and you knew that her response was based on what you answered and you knew this was something that they really desired you would be more apt to stretch the truth and tell them what they wanted to hear.
Judith Viorst on lying, said:
“It’s arrogant…to insist on being so incorruptible and so brave that you cause other people unnecessary embarrassment or pain by compulsively assailing them with your honesty”.
Sometimes being brutally honest with someone is just as bad as lying. Even an empty lie can instill a false reality in a person’s mind because it is false flattery and false praise. It doesn’t help that person and it also puts you on a guilt trip because you lied to them and gave them false hope.
What needs to happen is to find a balance that can turn a situation into a positive one and build that person up instead of tearing them down and being a discourager. Finding that middle ground between honesty and lying is a more constructive and positive way to connect with people.