The one behavior that characterizes the human race is so widespread that most of the time we don’t even notice it. It is extremely hard to spot and it is even harder to stop. It is lying.
Most people have lied in their life. Whether it was to protect feelings, avoid trouble, impress, or to simply get what they want, not many people can say they have never told a lie.
However, there is one extreme type of liar that you should beware of; the sociopathic liar.
On first impressions, you may find you actually like or are drawn to the sociopath. It’s not surprising as more often than not they are indeed charming and likable. Watch out, these type of liars can cause untold damage and mayhem once they lead you into their web of lies and deceit.
Sociopaths lie the most because they are incapable of feelings and do not want to understand the impact of their lies. They may even get a thrill out of lying at your expense. Once they tell an initial lie they go on to tell many more lies in an attempt to cover up the lies they started, or just for the “fun” of it.
A sociopath rarely reveals his or her feelings or emotions. You won’t often hear them laugh, cry, or get angry. These kinds of liars tend to live in their own little world and always find ways to justify their dishonest deeds. They do not respect others and place their own needs first and foremost.
If someone questions the sociopath’s lies they can be incredibly devious in the way they cover things up. This can include placing the blame at someone else’s door or by inventing complex stories to cover up their untruths.
Sociopaths can be so good at lying that they are able to pass lie detector tests. This means they often escape jail or don’t even get prosecuted for the crimes they permit. (That’s not to say all sociopathic liars are criminals, of course).
It is believed by some experts that sociopathic lying is connected to the mental illnesses Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD).
If you come across someone who you think is a sociopathic liar, beware!
Indeed, sociopathic compulsive liars are on the more severe end of the spectrum. I’d agree there’s a strong narcissistic element, and also often a sadistic enjoyment in deceiving others. As a therapist I work with compulsive liars regularly who genuinely seek help. The compulsive liar who tell you that they are lying is already, at that point, on the road to recovery. But the sociopath may have a different agenda. I find they rarely enter treatment voluntarily unless with a hidden agenda. I had an example recently where someone attended, in my view, to appease their partner who threatened to leave. They also refused to pay for the session arguing that they never formally agreed to the fee. This is unheard of. Yet it shows an element beyond compulsive dishonesty, but one of exploitation. Hence I like your distinction between the liar who wants help, perhaps they’re in touch with shame, versus the sociopath who wants to deceive, exploit and enjoy getting one up on the other.
So I’ve been working with this woman for the past two years and realised very early on that she obviously had an issue with telling the truth. On first impressions she would come across as extremely charming and would seemingly go out of her way to help people but it soon became apparent that it was just a form of control and manipulation. There was no one who was exempt either. Her husband and son also worked for the same company and she used exactly the same tactics on them and manipulate to serve her own selfish needs. The worse thing was she would get you to the point of trusting and every single time, would end up abusing that trust by backstabbing and being two faced. It is amazing to witness/see – evil personified. For my own survival, once I realised she was a psycho I made it my mission to ensure I stayed at arms length and began my journey on trying to pinpoint exactly what was wrong with her. Calling her a compulsive liar didn’t describe accurately the real level of deceit and manipulation that she exhibited and then just today, I stumbled across the meaning of Sociopath which describes her down to a tee. I also firmly believe there is a touch of NPD there too. She has managed to create MASSIVE conflict out of nothing and has always manage to end up looking an innocent bystander. I pride myself of being able to see the good in all the people in my life – even those who exist beyond my choice. But her ………. evil personified. Devoid of emotion, guilt or an honest word. She lied to me once about having breast cancer!? but asked me not to mention it to her family?!! Turns out there was nothing wrong at all and she was just trying to manipulate opinion. In my life of being lucky enough to say I am surrounded by wonderful people, she is the only purveyor of evil that I know. I’m working really hard on ensuring the feeling of hate doesn’t persist in my consciousness as it doesn’t serve me well. Trying to get to the neutral stage. Problem is, I have to witness her mess with people on a daily basis. She manages a team of people who regularly complain to me about her and the fact that she makes their lives a misery. Not a lot I can do about it which bothers me.
I can SO RELATE!
Unfortunately I have entered a relationship with this Person!
He’s so manipulative! His mother told him she wouldn’t give in any more money! Since he has Invented Job interviews and Lied SO MUCH! Now his mother THINKS he Has A Job and has been giving him Money! IM DISGUSTED!
I have caught him IN SO many Lies! I came across this website trying to find More about it an the More I Read The More I believe he Is REALLY SICK! 🙁 he’s SICK! I myself suffer from anxiety disorder but this is LIKE NOTHING I Have ever witnessed IN MY LIFE!
He has No Feelings! NO GUILT! And LAUGHS when He gets Results Froms his horrendous Lies! Now I just Need to Figure out how To deal with This and MOVE ON! The more I think about his deceit and how DeeP It Is the sicker I Feel!
We haven’t been intimate in MONTHS and he says NOTHING about it! No FEELINGS! Also he is emotionally BLIND TO anyone else’s feelings around him!
I’m sorry U have to work with this person and I can honestly say Ur Are Not alone in this Crazyness and Unfortunatley neither is Ur Co-worker! It’s horrible! GOOD Luck!
I’m going through same thing. The sad part, I’m married to this person. It would 16 years this coming July. I don’t think we are going to make it. The meddlesome mother in law is not helpful at all. She manage to manipulate her by lying creating drama, kaos and confusion. Then plays the victim. Then the mother in law accuse the children of taking sides. Which is wrong! What grandmother would do this? Every year it gets worst.
My father is a sociopathic liar! My mother was married to him for 25 years and left him after he was having an affair with a woman he said was riddled with brain tumours and needed help. Dad would invite her over to our house while mum was at work and tell her that they divorced recently because she was having an affair! Just one of the many ways to manipulate and get sympathy. He also lies about being a former veteran and says he had to kill a lot of people. I became suspicious of this and asked my auntie (the monsters sister) if he had ever been in the army. She said that he applied but didn’t pass the mental examination. Also before I was born he went to jail for man slaughter. He told me when I was 8 years old that he had saved my older sister from a man dragging her into a van by killing him with one punch. I did some research and found out that he had killed someone over drug money by strangling them with a television chord. How he got off on manslaughter? I’ll never know. When you talk to him he comes across as a sweet and caring man that would do anything for anyone. It’s all fake! It’s how he gains control, getting close to your heart and tugging at the strings. I cannot believe anything that comes out of his mouth. I was oblivious to these traits for most of my life because I was too young to understand. Now that I’m 20 it’s very obvious to me when he lies and I struggle to have a relationship with him (I can’t sit through his lies without confronting him). He makes him self out to be this hero/criminal. He said he used to rob banks and give all the money to homeless people. I have also broken up one of his relationships because the woman was confused if he was lying or not. She asked me if he really owned 3 other properties and if he really was in the army. She was heart broken hearing the truth. He told another one of his girlfriends that he had 2 children with disabilities ,one had austism and the other Down syndrome! That’s just sick! He has 5 kids all healthy and well. My mum says that the whole time she was with him he had never held down a job for more that a year. He likes to think he is a man of mystery but I know exactly who and what he is. He lives in the middle of no where through private rental (is on ticka because he never pays rent) ,a broke minipulitive coward who may make you think he cares about you but everything he does for you is only to benefit himself. The sad part is he won’t admit that he is a liar so there is no way he will get help. Family or not ,these people are toxic and you should keep a safe distance where their mind games don’t work on you.
you are amazing!
I am so sorry you have to suffer through your father’s lies. You stay strong and know that you are a good person.
Thanks for sharing your story cause I know it’s not a easy thing to do. These people are soul stealers. I’ve had a relationship for several years with someone like this. Man it’s easy to get sucked in by. How anybody can make up such insidious stories about their children, is the worst of the worst. Someone like this enters you life and your mums life and the only thing they know is to destroy who you are. They meet a honest, loyal, trustworthy and caring person and start to dismantle and control, all for what? Perhaps cause your mum had everything that loser could never have. Instead of trying to be a normal human being,they just try to fake it. When they finally relise they are useless at faking it aswell they resort to the lowest of low. We get punished by these low life’s. When your brought up in a normal loving environment you don’t even see it coming. They blame blame blame. They need to see that we all are responsible for ourselves and there comes a time when the excuses must stop. Life’s hard enough without having parasitic people like this around. Makes me so angry that they destroy good people for falling for their attention seeking lies. I hope you’re family keeps moving onwards and upwards and be proud of yourself for not being apart of his world. You guys are the real ones.he’s the lost one but he wont ever get it.
I’m lying in feeling completely exhausted from dealing with this persons daily bull! I call him on the lies even provide hard core evidence but he refuses to admit anything he just tries to confuse me with more twisted versions of more lies!
I read so many of these responses and I totally get every word of every person. I never knew a person could exist like this. That’s why it took me 3 years to figure her out. A 4 language, high IQ, 3 higher educations including 6 years of Psycology!! I am a victim of the Ms. Queen Sociopath. But, only after the first 1.5 years I was the guy she was fucking behind her husbands back. I am seeking church / confession and the Ex – to advise him that taking her away I was actually doing him a favor – but will ask for forgiveness for allowing mysel to compromise my morals and values.
I am going through the same thing. I have given this person 5 yrs of my life not 5 months…5 yrs! I’ve had a feeling but ignored my gut. We separated because he was an alcoholic, but I watched from a distance to see if he got better. He has managed to gain full custody of his 3 boys so I decided to move to be a family… 1.5 yrs later I am going through a crazy breakup and I get the gift of $33,000 plus in debit… the manipulation and codependent control is beyond crazy! Every little thing he told me over the 5 yrs every promise broken every story… no solid proof. I took my engagement ring to be appraised… “he spent $17,000” on the center stone… nothing on that ring was real but the little bit of gold. What does he do… scurries to create receipts and GIA REPORT for the stone… all of it fraudulent… but the ring that was in my wallet safe and sound… has been taken from my wallet. Can’t prove something if there is no ring. I can’t wrap my head around how someone could do this… it’s exhausting!
I totally hear you. I alway gave people the benefit of doubt, but I have learnt the hard way that trust needs to be earned. I tried for five years to get back what I thought was the real us, only to find out that everything I based our relationship on was lies and total bullshit, which makes me look like a numpty, cause i belived his stories. Then slowly but surely he turned off my intuition. If I questioned him I was told I was going loopy. I stopped the questions cause it wasn’t worth his stand over bulling. He always made out he was better than everybody else, he must of looked through a different mirror to the rest of the world. Next came the accusations of sleeping around. Far out I was terrified of him, I never stepped out of line cause he didn’t mind using his fists, or legs, it actually makes me sick to think how lucky I was to get out. He’s cost me heaps so I’ve learnt the hard way and he is stalling house sale etc. Still trying to control me. What gets me down is the anger and pure hatred I have for him. How could of I been so bloody blinded. I’m trying to move forwards but he has damaged me and I don’t know how to let it go. Any suggestions?
Run girl. Run.
Wow! I’m having the same problem. My ex husband is just like that.
Oh my gosh I almost cried when I read this.
I have been taking care of an elderly gentleman for two years who’s daughter is Exactly the person you describe
She stole I’ve a quarter of a million dollars from her elderly father and I was the person who got her off his POA and involved a lawyer who is his acting POA now. Long story short she has made my life a living hell she is a pathological liar definetly narcissistic and has destroyed many lives/reputations and has tryed and continues to try and destroy mine.
I have thought about leaving my position many times but I need the job as well as can not leave this poor old man with her.
I know people know she is a liar thief and all around dangerous person but she managed to get half of this old mans home before she was removed as his pis and no one can get her out of here.
I know God Jesus and his angels protect me but I do not like the hate I have in my heart for her
I am a good person and love people but this beast has made me dislike my heart when it comes to her.
I pray daily
I say unite against her manipulative ways. Is it possible to get 2 other comrades who work with you to stand up to her evil tactics? A sort of intervention of sorts.
My son is married to one. I wish I had support from others. He’s miserable. But he’s weak. Passive, obsessive, & socially anxious. Desparately lonely. That’s how she manipulated him. I have looked her square in the eyes before & called her out. Water off a ducks back. But I had reinforcements I might could gain some ground. Thank God I have faith that He can deal with her.
All to familiar for me too, now a sufferer of PTSD as I hung on too long, I wanted to know just like you sir IF their was anything worth saving or helping to save itself. SP “sociopath” told his family he had lukemia which his daughter & son didn’t understand as they where too young & havs a learning disabilitie. The act is so low, as soon as his former wife died he shipped the disabled children into a foster home which they have been since 2yrs of age. I think the mother was so beaten down by this person who always come out pristine. When we 1st met he told me he was worth millions which was a huge red flag but was designed to make me feel small. I thought a phyco was a phyco that tortured & killed, I didn’t know about the garden variety.
The big wake up was a constant feeling of fear, dread, danger of something but what? I can’t talk to SP as he never gives a direct answer “gaslighting” or he’s trying to exit the house quietly to leave me talking to myself; I rang cops & told them I wanted to kill him; that’s how I over 3days i was diagnosed with PTSD. Their needs to be a law against these people walking around without a tattoo or leg bracelet and we should be able to notify police
OMG. So sorry. I totally understand what you’re going through. .married my high school sweetheart at 18 and pregnant. .didn’t realize what he was tell ppl started telling me he was cheating. I called him out and boy the lies. I’ve been through hell and back with him 11 yrs of my young life wasted with this narcissistic asswipe I didn’t know what catigory to put him under at the time because I didn’t know much about ppl and their problems. .he worked at a prison and his department was going to be prisoners with mental illness so all that department had to take a mental evaluation and I was told he was Bi polAR …but I knew it went deeper than that. He also had mommy issues. But mommy was also nuts .I realized after yrs of just me trying I gave up. Had 3 kids. He was also a compulsive cheater. But lied all the time. Not untell 5 yrs ago did my children realize that had a half brother. Lord I went through hell with this person. But. He also told all his wives after me that. All he did to me. That he told them I did to him. All for sympathy. .I lost it. Couldn’t believe he would go that far to say I did all that to him when in truth he did it all to me. He’s been married 4 times. All of which he’s cheated. My poor children all grown now realize what he is and hate him for it. I could write a book.
My daughter was drugged with cocaine in her coffee during a custody battle. Had no idea he could steep this low and quite frankly could have killed her. How can we prove that he is unsafe to be around his son??
It’s one thing to tell lies to ithers about yourself to try setting others up for the dishonesty or lack of integrity exhibited by them and it is another thing to lie about an innocent person which is done maliciously and with manipulation, which destroys that person. Sociopathic people are dirtballs because they keep ruining innocent people and don’t mind doing it. Their tactics are so underhanded and deceptive that it destroys everyone around them. I didn’t try to hurt anyone in a campaign or otherwise and haven’t told malicious lies nor have I lacked consciouness towards other. My step mother said she had stomach cancer, lies about my character, tries and tried framing I, an innocent man and or others for her own selfish purpose. Then these sociopathic bastards try saying I am the one they are scared of after I have been stalked, harassed, after they have stolen my things, had my property destroyed, have been wrongfully accus3d of their crimes and others, etc.
wow reading what you have wrote confirms to me that ive been under the control of someone who has sent me to the brink of suicide twice why because I wanted to find out why he would rope me in. bit by bit. and bang, he brain wasahed me. I went to police, he played his part.once he got me back into his life,i knew he would seek revenge
Adam I really need your help my sons father fits all of these and he even passed a court ordered mental evaluation. He is using his lies to try and hurt me by using my son as a pawn. Please how can I contact you? I knew there was something mentally wrong with him but no one would believe me of course because he is charismatic and knows how to not show emotion. Please can you help me? hes driving me crazy and most of all my son is suffering he’s only 5 and he doesnt deserve to live like this.
I am so sorry for everyone going through this. I was briefly married to a guy with NPD, lying and spinning stories to make himself get what he wanted, and the constant, horriic temper outbursts, putdown, demeaning of partner in relationship. Nothing like what he projected at first. Finally 4 years away from him, and after finding NPD info to explain his crazy, I am healng my self esteem. Horrible. Get out if you know you are with one, and try not to have any contact. Very destructive. And no cure, sadly. Now I am helping relatives across the country and one of the in home aides has turned out to have these issues, of NPD with pathologcial lying. At first, she seemed so responsible and too good to be true, bright, good natured….all went south after 6 months or so. She revealed her true self. Hard to believe. She drove off other very competent and kind workers like a veritable hornet, was threatened, very scheming, very manipulating, lying and pointing fingers and creating believable lies that always made her look righteous and the other person at fault. We tried to manage her, still believing we could “recover” the person she was at first, so helpful to us.. No, the psycho hornet was the person she really was, she never was honest person of character we believed her to be. Yes, feels evil. She was trying to ingratiate herself with our relative too, asked for loan at end, spoke against us. WE think she may have stolen in the end also but we cannot prove even though seems likely. Get those nanny cams folks.. Bad.. Her agency manager was duped by her too.She could turn her against coworkers with her believable web of lies. To her advantage. Manager told me in beginning she was one of the best they had. Though now eyes more open, after all we have shared with her to try to get the worker to behave.. Sick!!! It’s hard to know at first with these unbalanced people cause their expert skill with people is to con them into believing one thing and then use and manipulate for their own twisted psychic needs. Get a kick out of causing confusion and chaos, and love control and attention of any kindl. Unhappy if without control. Awful. She is gone, locks are changed, and supervisor informed she is not to contact our loved ones. Considering reporting her to nursing aide abuse register and getting restraining order,, but don’t want to stir up this crazy person anymore ….just keep her away, dear Lord.
What I have learned is to trust when people show you who they are the first time, don’t assume they can change, and then react accordingly. People like this, you want as far away from your or your loved ones lives as possible. They bring drama and damage.
Get your son and get out. Pack important papers, birth certificates, baby pictures and take to s trusted friend or a savings deposit box. Your poor child will have wounds that won’t heal. I know, that child was me. Then I married a sociopathic liar, double whammy. God bless you
my advice is exactly what you have just adviced,the only thing I would add is when your feeling low which you will, and he may call,look at your son, his smile will be priceless.you can do this ur not to blame.
Shayna did you ever get any help from Adam? My daughter and grandson desperately need help.
My question is for the therapist: my ex-boyfriend of 14 years verbally cussed out his ex wife the entire time we were together. I mean, he HATED her with venom. She abused their kids, raped him financially, etc. he said wen they did marriage counseling before they divorced their therapist told HIM that he could not help them because his wife was a pathological liar and a sociopath. (She spent 3 years cheating on him with a coworker. He obtained proof, she never fessed up, so he divorced her. – I was going thru my own divorce around same time. We got together, fell in love.
12 years later I find him secretly dating in dating websites for which he doesn’t seem to care how much it hurts me. He appeared to be having a midlife crisis.
All the time we were together I wanted to get married but he’d always make excuses. “I’m too set in my ways” etc.
When we hit our 14th year he just walks away…out of my life…stops calling.
Then he asks to meet with me to tell me something. He’s “seeing his ex wife”. Swears “it’s nothing”. That was 4.5 years ago. I just found out he remarried her 2 weeks ago TODAY.
Looking back over our relationship I feel as though a lot of his behavior mirrored that of his wife it’s almost as if “he became her in OUR relationship ” he turned around and all the same horrible things to me that she did to Him during their first marriage. What does that mean?
I mean, he called her every rotten word in the book for 14 YEARS up until he left me and went back to her. It makes no sense. Is he a sadist? She hasn’t changed. She has even remarried and divorced since her THEY SPLIT. She has a rep of over drinking and sleeping around…I mean…WHY WOULD HE GO BACK TO THAT?
Dazed and confused.
One option, He IS her. My husband did this. He is mentally disordered, I was forced to leave the house. Then he did it from afar, and turned everyone he could against us. I was with him for 19 years. I never knew what was going on.
Everything that he did, he told everyone else I did. He flipped our stories. HE actually claims he is an addict because I abused him.
It’s impossible to believe you have not lived it too.
My wife did this to me after being married for 34 years.she had a long term affair took over a 100 thousand dollars from the bank had my phone cloned did all of this over a five year period. Now I’m seeing a therapist to help me get past all this so I understand what u are dealing with hope it fares well for you.
What I was going to say. Sounds like he turned the stories around and what he says she did, he actually did to her. You may find he told people it was you who was on the dating sites.
My husband of over 20 years is the same he has destroyed our 21 year old son, he was taken away to hospital a few weeks ago after threatening me and his step son i rang police and they took him away. after 4 days he was back here I agreed to help him with Councillors and medication only if he stopped abusing us and lying to everyone. A week later he is back to normal abuse and threats in my face. Last Monday I went to the doctors with him and found out a year ago he went there said he was depressed needed time off work and needed a sick note as he was at home looking after his sick wife who has been diagnosed with a mental illness. That’s what he has also told his manager as I spoke to him on the phone 2 weeks ago. and probably the hospital he was in last week think that too. He also told my children this too a few years ago. Everything he does and says is dangerous. i made him ring the doctor after that visit and tell him he was lying about my mental illness he said he did and would put a note on his record to say he was lying but can not take it off his record. that’s how low he will go to try cover his lies.
My grandom is almost 14 and has been lying and stealing money from his parents and me for several years. HE usually has a blank look in his eyes when questioned. He always denies what he’s done (continuing to lue until you ask him why he took something or didn’t follow through on an assigned chore. He never feels bad at getting caught. He turns on tears to try to get out of touble, which doesn’t work. How do we handle him?
I am in a divorce and my wife has a long history of lying even in motions. Blatant outright easily probable lies. I believe she has borderline personality but my question is how do I ask the court to address this if I think she is sociopathic liar or compulsive?
I live with a stepson who this site describes down to a tea worst part is his mother never beleives me when i say something about him.in her eyes he does no wrong hes violent to the children e had together and to other siblings help me pls
I know this reply is coming late, but better late than never. If an older and stronger and more mentally and emotionally developed sibling is controlling their younger siblings via threats of violence, verbal/emotional abuse (name calling, raising their voice to a level they know created fear, put downs, pulling mean and/or vicious “pranks” that guves them obvious amusement, etc), and causing them physical harm with no real feelings of guilt of remorse, YOU as parents can be held accountable if they end up doing serious harm to any of them. Think about it this way, do you feel afraid for the younger kids? Well, imagine the terror THEY feel. You have a responsibility to protect your children from harm. It is not “giving up” on or abandoning your child (or admitting to being bad parents) if you have to seek out some long term inpatient care for a child who is not responding to parenting techniques like that of a typical child. Becoming a parent doesn’t automatically equip you with a PhD in Psychiatry, so if you feel like you have tried your best to encourage your child to change this frightening behavior, yet it persists, or god forbid gets worse, then it is time to seek out someone with formal education and personal experience working with children like your son. A good friend of mine was a patient, attentive and loving mother to her son, and most of the time you wouldn’t know that he had serious emotional problems. He would be polite and calm and as good as to be expected for a extended period of time. Then, without warning, he would become the personification of evil. Punching his mother in the face for getting to close while calmly attempting to ask him to communicate his feelings. Locking her out of her apartment for hours after work one day, she stood on the steps leading to her apartment door able only to listen as he systematically destroyed her home. Then, to add insult to injury, quietly opened the window directly above where she was standing on the stairs and dumping a full pan of spaghetti sauce she had prepared earlier and put in the fridge for their dinner that night. She called me in an absolutely nervous breakdown, she was at the end of her rope. I told her that asking for help from those more equipped to help her son was in no way abandoning or giving up on him. Actually, it was the exact opposite, it is hard to admit you need help parenting your child. There’s no way to escape the invasive thought that you have failed as a mother or father. He went to a special group home for almost a year, which gave her the chance to heal, and gain back the emotional strength to be more assertive and less placating of her son. She was able to have one on ones, where she would learn from the experts working with him, techniques to use when she felt him beginning to wind himself up. When he finally was deemed ready to return to his home with his mom, it was like a brand new child! He’s in the 10th grade this year, attending public school and an honor roll student!! She is immensely grateful for the staff at the group home, and so Glad she forced herself to make the difficult, but 100% necessary and ultimately proven the correct, choice to send her only son and whole heart away. I hope this helps someone out there who may be going through something similar. Just know, you aren’t alone, you aren’t a failure, and it is not admiring defeat to reach out for help for your children. If they were at the opposite end of a pool clearly unable to swim and drowning, would you continue racing to get to them knowing there is a good chance they won’t survive, or do you yell for the lifeguard who is much closer to save you child? It is obvious what any loving parent’s decision would be, it should be equally obvious what to do when you child needs mental/emotional help so desperately. Keep your heads up moms and dads, the best you can ever hope to do for your kids, is by giving your best, so cut yourselves some slack and let yourself be proud to be a great mom or dad! Be strong!
I believe I know someone who has this disorder trying to get her to tell the truth or even maintain eye contact when i caught her in a lie was impossible.
I believe my sister is a patholigcal /compulsive liar. I have just found out that over the last 3 years she has spent 12,000 pound that belong to our mum. she has also spent 5,000 pound of her daughters money and pawned all her daughter jewerly. Please Help i feel so betralyed and angry/numb. She has lied even stupid little lies,I reflect back over the years and just feels nothing was real.
I can honestly relate my sister is also a sociopathic liar. She has stolen money, clothes, etc. from everyone in our house. She has no remorse for her actions, nor does she seem to care (or show any emotions) when she’s caught or when she cries. She is only 15 years old, and the word manipulative doesn’t begin to describe her. She stole my car key (still will not admit it), which was the only copy I had, and I ended up having to get another key replaced for $220. She is definitely the type of person who is out for self, and does not care who her destructive ways hurts. It’s kind of disgusting how one person can have no guilt, remorse or empathy for anyone.
*she doesn’t show emotion when my mother cries because of what she’s done.
I’ve found that the sociopath in my life, my daughter, thrives on seeing weakness and I’ve often seen her crack a little smile when she sees me cry. She actually told me that she gets a high when people believe her lies.
YES! The sociopathic liar in my familly….is my own daughter. She has put me through 24 years of more pain than I have room to type here about. The most disturbing thing is that now there is a grandchild involved. (2 months) I have given her and her “mama’s boy” husband more money than you could imagine. NO APPRECIATION from her have I received. And when her lies and manipulation and deceit rip my heart out…..she gets HAPPY about it and even brags about what shes done to me and how shes treated me. I have lost time at work from being so distraught over her evilness toward me. Once she gets what she needs or wants from me….she does something evil, rips my heart out, tells countless lies to make me look bad, and walks away smiling and bragging. She KNEW how much my first and only grandchild meant to me. By the time he was only 2 months old she was already using him to “hold over my head”. Now she has even said that I will only see my grandchild if she “likes my attitude” or not…..and smiled when she said it. Needless to say, I am so upset I cant even function. The only solution I can think of is to stay away from them both (so I dont get so attached to him) and let her eventually dig her own hole. I really dont know what to do. Walking away from my precious grandson will nearly kill me….but I cant live with this kind of constant hurt any more. I will pray that God will watch over my grandson being as I will not be able to.
I’d like to know more about mythomania, I believe that my boyfriend might be a compulsive liar. Of course, I didn’t say anything to him, because he would never listen to me. He tells me that at the age of 12 he beat out a 16 year old adolescent and put him in a come. Please note that he is very skinny and doesn’t practice any sport. He also believes that he needs to smoke in order to hide his bad sides, that’s his excuse to smoke. I’d really like to help him and tell him, but I know nothing about all this, so if you read this, please help me out, thanks much!
Sounds like you need to be very careful, Chloe! You can’t change people, people change themselves; you should be able to talk to him about anything, if you cannot, you have to consider if that is the kind of relationship you wish to commit yourself to; lying doesn’t make for a happy life!
We absollutely have a sociopathic liar in our family. I thought he was a “compulsive liar” and he is but he is also the sociopath. He lies even when the truth sounds better. He picks incidents from various occassions and pieces together a ‘new’ story of an incident so it fits whatever lie he is telling. The thing that is so disturbing to me is that his father believes every lie he tells him so his father believes everyone is out to get him. He is in prison convicted by 12 and I am familiar with the case and I KNOW he’s guilty. But he is denying it and is trying for a new trial and of course his father is all for it.
I believe my son is a sociopathic liar.he lies about most things ranging from little white lies to huge lies.he will look you in the face and tell you hes black when hes white(exaggerated). He is not a very liked person due to this.so many times he has had threats of violence against him.mixed with alcohol and drug intake he is a time bomb.i fear for my family’s safety as one day I know something will happen.when I confront him about things he has done he denys it and I have no proof to prove him wrong . Please help
I understand the “having no proof thing”. It’s the same scenario with my sister. She will know you know what she did and that she’s lying and still stand in your face and tell you a complete lie, even when the truth is easier. She has stolen money, and many family members keep their purses close at all times when she’s around due to money coming up missing. She breaks into my room and stills money and clothes (just to hide them in her room or throw them away). My mother seems to think stealing siblings clothes is normal, I beg to differ. I notice that you wrote your comment a year ago, I hope that your situation with your son has gotten better. My mom has just decided for us to do family therapy (not because my sister is a sociopath ) but because we need to be closer. I read something tonight that it quite unsettling, “no one is special to a sociopath. you cannot change a sociopath and if you think you can you a merely fooling yourself. They do not have the capability nor the desire to care about you unless you serve an immediate necessary purpose for them.” How do you deal with your son on a daily basis, because I am pulling my hair out and driving myself insane over something neither you nor I have the ability to change. Hope I wasn’t a downer!
You have ‘no proof’. ???
i am compulsive liar. it is a disese and i hate myself for it! it is life ruining and i would never wish it upon anyone. it hurts not only myself but the people that get dragged into it. i had not noticed my disorder properly until i had ruined my whole life. leaving myself with noone at all.
It isn’t a condition, it is a choice; you have admitted it, that makes you bigger, and more powerful than any lie, so just keep disabling the lies, by telling the truth.
There is no need for you to tell someone you do not like their hair style, or clothes, or the colour of their car, or the decor of their home; if you do not like it, it doesn’t matter, you have no need to say so, as it is unimportant – we all know what kind of lies harm people.
If you are going to hate yourself for lying Jessie, please be sure to love yourself for admitting to it, it is easier to forgive someone when they admit it, my hope is that my parents would admit it, then I could forgive them, I so often hug them, and tell them that I love them, yet still they lie, and it is soul destroying, it makes me feel so hated by them! and I feel so accused by those who will believe them, it is so fearful!
Don’t just hate yourself, Jessie, hate the lies, spite them, by telling the truth, and forgive yourself, laugh, sing, shout, and change, you can change! Its your choice.
Tomorrow is a new day, Jessie, you will know how to approach it, for you have told us you hate lying.
I your lies have caused anything that you can now correct, then do so, for the sake of others who maybe suffering, but if you do, then forgive yourself also, Jessie, and we will forgive you.
I think my mother may be a sociopathic liar, I was looking up compulsive liar, thinking it may describe a certain behaviour that fits her own, but having read about the sociopathic liar, I feel it is more apt.
It has, along with both of my parents abuse, and I have to say that dad has also been very dishonest with people, even though they call themselves christians, and will be in chapel later today, their lies and bullying, has almost led to my suicide, and my mother would stand by, and continue to lie, even if it did cost me my own life.
They have both seen fit to deliberately lie to others, to give a false impression to anybody I may later talk to, paving the way, before I get to see them, my doctor, their ministers, the Farm Crisis Network, the police, they have lied to them all, with no thought for me, my reputation, or future, it all means nothing at all to them. She has also tried to hit me, and as children, she used to hit around the head so very, very, hard.
They have also lied to the DWP for many years, about disability claims, I did wonder if telling those lies, have forced them to tell others, which I know it will have done, but even before any claim, as young children, mum would lie, to avoid taking responsibility for her actions, such as hitting a bus with a tractor and trailer, she just drove on, and would never admit it, even though both of us, her children, were riding on the top of the load, and told her what had happened.
It is the lies she has told about myself over the last four years, that has destroyed my life, and she cares not one jot; lies have served her very well throughout her life, and lies are the first thing she turns to, and life is all about her needs, other people’s needs hold no value for her, unless their is public reward for being seen to be helpful, or caring.
Abuse and violence is what awaits her family, whilst the most extreme charm is reserved for others, dad is exactly the same in that way, the most bizarre charm is reserved for others, and falling over themselves to help others, whilst he puts his own family through the most terrifying hell.
Unfortunately, they are able to find people within their church, who like their charm, and encourage them.
I found out a few years ago, that my sister had felt suicidal because of our childhood, and she sought counselling.
I have asked my parents to stop lying about me, and think about what they are doing to my life, my work, my reputation, and relationships, but you just get yet another lie thrown at you for doing so, she makes up events, and false situations, and will not admit the things she has said to others, or even written, even challenged with the letters, letters she said were never written, and suggested I was making up in my mind. It is all so cruel, and all deliberate.
I was told by my mother that they could lose the house, so I did all I could to help them, giving her many thousands, much of which was cash, as she wanted, and yet she now denies it all in front of others, she has kept no records of the money I gave her in cash.
Mum led me to believe she had no money, and no savings, I have since found out this was not true, she has numerous savings, in ISAs, and had told me she has none at all, as she has never had any money to save – but it just wasn’t true, yet I put their needs before my own, to help them.
I am worried that she may have implied I have been violent towards her, which just isn’t true, and as a women, she knows she will be believed, and she has very proudly told me, that “no-one will believe you,” for she knows she is the one people will believe, being a women, yet she is so deceitful, abusive, and has, at 73 years of age, only just stopped hitting me, her son, and only because I have been more outspoken about her behaviour, before, I just kept it all private from all but two of my closest friends who were going through very similar themselves.
They have nearly cost me my life, they will be in chapel tomorrow, absorbing the encouragement from people who do not know the truth about their behaviour.
I have been at my wits end, for just what can you do about a liar? They so often find an audience, which is exactly what they want, it boosts their bravado.
It is shocking to know that your own parents would have stood back and let you take your own life, just to hide their own actions, but they did exactly that!
My father tells the DWP that he can hardly walk so I have recently discovered, yet for years they have been going dancing, and have been dancing tonight – when I told my parents their hindering my work, and hindering my life, was pushing me over the edge, after asking them to help, for three years, and after writing to their Methodist minister pleading for help, who also did nothing, after telling my parents their behaviour was pushing me over the edge, my mother just snarled at me in reply, and said “people who talk about suicide, don’t do it!” walk past me, and went dancing for the evening.
I had worked for them for nothing, to help them save the farm, I had given them more than I could afford to, to help them keep their home, and yet she has told so many lies, many of them attacking my character, and it has crushed me; she also bullies dad into lying on her behalf, and lies for him also – it is a frightening situation!
David,
Bullies are cowards. Eventually they will get their karma!! What goes around comes around!!
I was in a relationship for 15 years, he was my rock and vice versa! Whom I thought loved me.
To cut a long story short, his daughter broke us up. She is an adult and should no better. For 5 years she did her very best to get rid of me, out of her dad’s life.
She did and said things behind my back, then when confronted she would deny everything. She suggested I was sick and it was all in my head. Which I know it wasn’t.
Her dad supported me over her, and she resented that, and me.
She was cruel to me, and drove me to take an overdose, almost 2 years ago.
When she was told what I had done, she didn’t say a word.
All of her dirty tricks she played on me, she showed no remorse what so ever. According to my ex partners family she has always been a liar.
So I thought she could be sociopath.
My son in law fits NPD & sociopathic liar exactly. Trouble is I’m running out of energy coping with it & they live 200 miles away! The phone calls in the night re the latest drama designed to deny me sleep as I struggle physically to work. Latest is my son calls me cold & unfeeling as I’m running out of energy to cope psychologically with this. Thing is, I wonder if my son is the same & I’ve been blind to this. They feed off each other. I don’t know what to do as I don’t want to lose my son but feel unable to cope with their drama after drama. When I refuse to collude I’m the bad guy. I’m at a crossroad & don’t know which way to turn.
My husband is a sociopathic liar.
He has ruined his own life, mine and the life of our children. He puts his interests above everyone and everything.
He lies when the truth will do.
He has found himself in deep financial and probably criminal trouble. He wants us all to sacrifice for him. He’ll get off with no down side, I’ll be lumbered with another debt. There’s no remorse. And it will happen again. And again. And again.
And yet when you put it to him that his behaviour is abhorrent, he becomes defensive and pushes it back.
And he’s threatening to kill himself if I don’t agree to help him “undo” all his lies. Lies, upon lies, upon lies, upon lies.
When will this ever end?
Wow this entire page blows my mind! I was dating a woman for two years that was and is the extreme of the definition of sociopath and I honestly started to consider I was losing it somehow. Eventually I started to investigate more and inevitably I found messages and texts and her phone rang any time of the day or night all thru the night with guys sending pics of themselves etc. I actually heard a voice mail with a guys saying when can we meet again to finish what we started and that was all I needed to leave her once and for all because obviously I had done so before several times. She lies for no reason and no matter what I say to her somehow I am to blame and will go so far as to try and tell me how I think and feel. lol.. I knew after a long while honestly that my suspicions were correct but I just could not seem to break away from her and I am sure the 90 texts a day I get still to this day helped. She avoids me confronting her and its an impossible conversation to talk to someone like this and fortunately it made me so mad that I started digging deeper and even then she hides all her boyfriends and fb’s very well and any friend of hers I had the opportunity to ask about her they all clam up and say nothing. I have never seen anything like this and she actually has people believing I am the problem! she will admit a lie I caught her in and then deny it ever happened at all and its the most frustrating thing. Finally I told her she can either come clean and tell me the truth about everything that has been going on or I am not ever speaking to her again. Her response was “what question I answer everything” when in fact I cannot recall her ever ansering anything directly.. She has all male friends and is highly sexual and very aggressive to say the least.. Thanks everyone your stories helped me figure this nightmare out before everything was destroyed.. I do not wish having to deal with this type of person on my worst enemy.
I’ve just came out of a relationship I’m hurt 18 months engaged to be married but the control and lies were too much he would be on the phone for hours saying I was on to my brother, he barely says 2 words to him when he visits. He doesn’t answer his phone saying he doesn’t get a signal. Once he left his phone on by accident I could hear a female voice him asking her if she wanted a coffee, he said it was his mps secretary he explains his problems to her.
I think the last straw was I wanted to have lunch with my friend on my day off he said why can’t you cancel your daughters day instead of choosing our day bearing in mind I hadn’t been out with my friends whilst with him for 18 months. Total control freak.
He asked me in the beginning you can move in with me I said to wait the year. After 6 months it was im on benefits it would ruin it if you moved in the list is endless I wish these people could be locked away I’ve been badly emotional damaged doubt if ill trust again
There are two types of liars, those that are compulsive and those that are sociopaths. I married a sociopath. I knew he lied, he acted as if he could not help it, he even said things such as “what if I can’t quit lying” Then it escalated after his daughter got married, then his one sister died. he lies about everything big and small and pulls me in and I have been noticing he does get satisfaction when he can win me over. He told his daughter I am crazy and on drugs. I was the one who brought up giving money to her for her wedding, she is not young by the way. I did make a major mistake talking about Jehovah’s witness not knowing the new son in law was one, but it was one sentence as in people on my road should keep their doors shut due to they are coming door to door. My husband lies about money and awhile back he almost bankrupted us, I made a plan with a company who helps people in debt, it took six years to do it but we did. Now he is gambling, I found he owed $75.00 to a work friend. I have had spine surgery and did not want to go to a bar with him and his sister, he said he would not be gone long, 5 hours later and then he said the only thing he did wrong was not be realistic with telling me the time that was needed to get there and home. He went to a motel, I guess he did that thinking that was my worst fear, losing him. He lost his wedding band somewhere at the motel, he said he looked for it but not like I would have being out there in sunlight the next day, he bought a new one. He is going on a golf outing, he even told me I ok’ed it, no I did not. Then he said he already gave them the $50 deposit of the almost $500 for the 4 days and 3 nights. he told me there is a stripper club some of the guys go to but he won’t go, I shouldn’t worry. He said yesterday he would rather take care of things for himself only in foul words than touch me. I went to my Dr and I am situationally depressed, which I knew but I also wanted to make sure that the medication I need to take isn’t the problem because that is what he is telling people, that it makes me crazy. My sister had a stroke and now needs a cardiac catheterization, I am worried about her. Brett Gyllenskog asked yesterday after calling me names and screaming if I loved him because I used the past tense of love, I don’t member saying love to him! He then said if I don’t love him then what’s the point, yes it is my fault in his eyes, again. I refuse to be scared because now I know he feeds off it. He told me I was his friend and his lover and he would never go out to a bar or on a vacation without me, even insulted the guys he works with that they live near each other and go to social events together and he would never be like that, but here he is going “golfing” which is on his “bucket list” He actually used that term. That must have took at least 15 minutes of his drive home to think that one up. I could vomit in his “bucket list” He is learning to lie better, lower toned voice etc. he acts as if he has me figured out. Like with the gambling, he just didn’t tell me the amount. The bar, “I didn’t factor in the time and you are ridiculous thinking an hour when it takes that long to get to and from our house. He said he would spend a “short time” at the bar. Then I said to him “about an hour” Bar, not driving and even then I gave in due to his sister died. Oh and he used a term I had the florist put on the flowers it was something like “sister first, mother always”. He had to sound good on facebook. He throws his arm down like the king when he has to stop watching golf or football, in fact he enjoys making me wait to talk until commercials. That is easily seen. The think that made me understand that he is a sociopath was when he went back on me being his friend. That was my lightbulb moment and it hurt. Now I am in limbo, not sure what is next except like I said I have my sister to worry about and taking care of myself, I had to retire due to my spine, which reminds me, instead of saying I have a spinal cord injury which is the truth he told his daughter it was my medications that are the problem. I am not “allowed” around her by her own words because she doesn’t feel comfortable “yet” and then she skirted around the time I took getting ready and about medications. My husband was to straighten things out before this and he came home and said too many people there, on faceboook, one other person who stayed an hour. He had time to talk to them, instead he made things much worse by yes lying about me to his own daughter. He was eating wings and hanging out, facebook again, he is incapable of seeing himself for what he truly is and apparently he has told everyone in his family lies about me. I realized that because he had me convinced I talked about his daughter to a niece of his. when I brought it up she told me not to worry about it, she is sick of the gossip! So yes, it took years, I knew he lied but I didn’t know he was a sociopath until he was willing to take the one thing way I thought we had, friendship and we would enjoy vacations and going out together because friends do that. See in this clique who he claimed he did not like and would never hang around with, they are not taking their wives. It is bad, not sure what is next. I wrote him an email and was pretty civil and I was angry and crying, he is not home from work. I texted him. what is the point of being afraid. I read where the one who doesn’t care is the one who wins, well I want him to stop being a lying sociopath and I will not be called names. I was married before and he was abusive in all ways. Looks like I did it again except he is a liar, he did push me once but I flew hard into cabinets and if I would have been hurt he would have lost his job. I do not think he was concerned about my health or if I was hurt, but he has not of yet pushed or hurt me physically again. He does not want me to have an affair, he obsesses about his first wife having an affair when he was sleeping but yet they went on to have a daughter then HE had an affair after playing some strip game, not strip poker. I doubt his wife even had an affair and when I finally said so, his eyes showed, this one time, yes he lied. there is more but I am feeling angry and he will be home soon so I am going to stop. Praying for this evil to stop.
Hi. I know this is a long shot but reading everyone’s experience here and I came to this site in seek of help to understand if I’m really losing my mind. The guy I was with and living with for 2,5 yeas… he lied about everything. Bills and dodgy meetings, paychecks etc.,, it all didn’t add up. When they came to diconnect our power in our house because obviously the bills wasn’t paid like he said they where, he would make stories up and invent fake recites etc.. this was the beginning.. “small things like that” … constantly.. we would fight over this and argue, not because I started a fight but because my gut was telling me to get real
So I questioned every situation. I left my job for this guy so I’m the end i didn’t have any money to support myself. I was blind. I feel
So stupid. Then one day he got arrested… he told me he got arrested because of his ex wife (we live in dubai and he is an arab and sometimes when you get married here their parents decide an amount of money that the girl gets in case of divorce) so he said the cheque bounced and that he got caught for thatbas bouncing cheques in the Middle East is so criminal. Anyhow… he went to jail.. I felt something wasnt adding up. Then people started contacting me , saying he said that he left 100’s of thousands of dollars with me and that I would pay them… thstvwas shock nb 1, next thing I heard was that I was shamed on a night out by some random girl screaming at me cus I was drinking alcohol and then apparently everyone knew that I was pregnant but not me… so then he told people I was pregnant and he needed money to support me while he was in jail!!! Then months later he told people I had a miscarriage .. that was the number 3 big shock in the face I got… the lies and stories from other people kept piling up , he also made up stories about his mom and father and his brothers ,, I know for a fact that they don’t want anything to do with him because he is a fraud. He also forced my signature and rented a house in my name ( he told me the house was for me ) but I realized later on that he couldn’t rent it because he didn’t even have a passport because he was wanted by the police… and he didn’t pay the landlord so I arrived at the airport in dubai and I got arrested because of a non paid lease contract if 850,000 Dhs. !! (That’s a lot of money) he also rented cars in my name via his fraud friend who had a rental car company here and didn’t pay the bills… then I lied to me and told me his father had died… this was so frustrating for me to deal with everything at once and every time I catch him in the act of these insane lies he gets defensive, angry then explains why he lied and I wanted to believe him and I forgave him and we tried to make it work… then 4 months later he got arrested again. Says because of the same reason as last time. But I know you don’t do time for the same crime twice when you already did you time and he slips with his story all the time because he lies so much he believes it himself. He has taken money from so many people. He is charming and good looking and he is so convincing when he speaks. He fooled me and my family, he is still in jail , we broke up. He knows we’re Done. But i cant get iver this and i am still looking for answers to understand what has happened to me because its so absurd the Whole thing.,, i have a List of things he Said he has Done or experienced. Heres a few : he Said he Us a psychologist, he played in a ban, he plays guitar and drums, he had witnessed and excircism (but I saw the movie the Tight with Anthony Hopkins and when he told me that story he literally picked a scene from that movie) he has a secret bank account in Switzerland , he is best friends with Kate moss, he has dated or had a fling with Jennifer Aniston, he is a psychic and he is in touch with jinns and other spirits and he can communicate with them.. he is a pilot and can fly helicopters, he is a painter, he collects art, …. thus list can go on and on and on… and it’s all bullshit. Oh yeah, he also said he was a gangster in Brazil a few years ago and he also had to shoot a guy in the knees.. he was also attempted assacinated… he also said he knows the royal family of khazakstan and does business with them..(lol) I can go on and on… anyhow.. he is still in jail.. he calls sometimes. I pity him, I feel sorry for him. But I can’t fix him and I don’t thing anyone in this world can fix him because he is so mentally absurd. I’m so broke and hurt on the inside. I really thought he was the one and it makes me angry when I reflect back on everything and to have wasted years of my life with this person. I have cried endless nights again and again and I can’t figure this out or why this has happened. I don’t know how to handle this this time . For myself. I actually think I’m so damaged after this that I will never be able to have a family if my own because I will never be able to trust anyone again and I’m afraid that I’m becoming the asshole in my next relationship to try to save myself from a potential situation. Reading all
Of your stories has for sure made me 100% sure he is a sociopath, and if there is anything worse than that he is for sure it. I’m sad on the inside because I don’t hate but everything is so heavy on my shoulders from the mess he has created and I hate myself for being so stupid to have been so blind and not seeing this coming. But I know it’s not my fault allthou I wish I could have gotten out sooner. Sorry for the long read. I jyst wish someone could hear me and thanx for letting me share what’s on my heart. Lots of love to all of you guys out there. Everything will be ok. //Camilla
I’m so glad I stumbled upon this site.my older sister has bin a dangerous liar since I can remember,our mom said that she has always bin this way,she had filed false police reports,many being rape,which was found out were lies,told people that our mom was dead,I was in prison,just absolute crazy things,and for no reason,and when I finally get my fill of it,and confront her about the lies,she goes insane,slanders me,trys to ruin my life,called child protective services on me,the police,tried to ruin my relationships with friends and family,by now,the family has washed their hands with her,nobody will have anything to do with her,so she gets new relationships often,friends,boyfriend,recently a husband,but these people don’t know her yet,so they believe her,it hurts that they actually believe her lies.
In India caste system and dowry system prevails. I got married 30 years ago . It was an intercaste marriage without dowry. From day one my mother in law and has made my life hell. She would be nice and soft in front of my husband and father in law but abuse me all the time.I saw a dual personality in her a hypocrite.
In need she would use me and lie things about me.
Now after my father in law expired she has become very bad. She besides defaming me in the neighborhood relatives and even the fruit and vegetable vendors who deliver things at home.She lies says things beyond my imagination.
Recently she has started doing funny things.
The pot in which I planted a money plant, was found broken;
the pot a horse shaped one in which my daughter had planted some seeds,she broke its front legs and told us that she was trying to scare the rat and in the process it happened,
I replaced and bought another pot and found its one leg broken
once a mouse was lying still on the floor when she went closer it moved a little she brought a plastic dust piker and pressed its neck and killed it was shocking to see the poor thing shake in pain
she looks cool nobody can know what she really is
she behaves like a sixteen year old in front my husband and any male who visits us
i am very scared of her and am very careful in my own house i am a stranger in my own house His daughters think she is nice and r not ready to understand what she is doing
I am so glad I found this website. I have been trying to find out what is wrong with my 16 year old daughter she tells the most horrific lies. She went missing for 3 days and she knew she was going to be in trouble. So she went to the school and told them I was abusing her. She told the school that my husband came into her room one night while she was sleeping and pulled his pants down and fondled himself. Because he wouldn’t let her stay the night over her grandmother’s house. So after all the investigating everything was cleared. With the fondling situation. My husband has left and don’t want to have anything to do with her every again and she doesn’t care. She was caught in so many lies and she still won’t tell the truth. All she do is lie. If she doesn’t get her way we all be on the look out for her. Just about everything she says is a lie. I love my daughter but I just don’t want to be around her I am always stressed. It’s messing with my help and counseling isn’t helping. I don’t know what to do.
I have this friend who is a maasive liar and recently, me and some other friends, discovered the biggest lie he ever told us – he told us he was going on a trip for two weeks, in a foreign country, in order to take part in an internship for a job. We busted him when we found out he had been home the whole time, although we suspected it – someone ran into him on the street on a day when he was supposed to be abroad, he has no evidence of ever being there, he posted false statuses on social media, claiming he was there,while the location in the status was our hometown and he told vague stories about the place where he was, the sort of stories you can tell using wikipedia, no details, no feelings- nothing. Upon “returning” we went out and we confronted him, telling him we know that he lied and asking him what it is that made him lie. On a regular basis, he lies about every aspect of his life – work, relationships, friendships (he claims certain people are his friends whereas these people barely know him) and this was the fourth or fifth lie of this magnitude in the past 3 years…we tried to understand what kind of liar he is, if he needs medical help or he’s just having fun at our expense. During the talk, he showed no emotion whatsoever, he just kept smiling as if he was glad we had discovered his lie and wanted some form of appreciation for inventing so much of his life up to this point. We no longer trust him and he has cut any form of communication with us – phone, facebook, email. We don’t know how,we should proceed because we can’t make up our mind if he’s sick or he just doesn’t care enough about anyone to tell the truth. Can anyone help? A
I am the victim of a pathalogical liar.In the 3 months I and this woman fell in love she promised me the world and was still living with her husband and sleeping with other men when I was seeing her.It has nearly destroyed me and she shows no remorse for her actions.I will find it difficult to trust any woman again.
I know Stephen I’m the same I’ve just split with a man who told so many lies when I looked up this site the resemblance was remarkable bit scary I wasted 18 months of my life giving my all I even said yes to marrying him. Thank God I got out and quick but I’m scared of men now and don’t trust them anymore very damaging I feel they should pay a price.
These are the people whom everyone thinks they are wondearful.
I can relate to you both. My nightmare started 7 years ago and I have only 4 weeks ago had the self perseverance, mental and physical strength to finally leave a charismatic sociopath. He was a master of disguise and illusion, he manipulated and controlled me without me even realising what was happening. His endless compliments, so many promises of a future together forever, the lists of shared interests and goals, the same values (what a joke) and how quickly the relationship progessed. I fell hook, line and sinker. He had created this perfect relationship, when all along it was just lies, deception and false love, he was playing a game. At first when I was suspicious of his lies and cheating, I said nothing in fear of losing him. Then one day I had the courage to confront him, he turned it all around, blamed the other women, his work friends and denied everything. I ended up feeling sorry for him and believing his lies. It was like I was under a spell. I started to become suspicious again and did my own investigating to try to get hard evidence. The lies he had told, so many other women, it was like I was watching a movie. Unfortunatley it was a horror movie and I was a main character. It destroyed my self-esteem and broke my spirit. He even managed to turn some of our mutual friends against me, because I looked like the deranged one for investigating. I was so embarrassed that he had humilated me. I could not talk to anyone about it. And I stayed with him! I was crazy! I wanted to break that spell but when we were together he made so many promises and made me feel like I was the only woman in the world. Then I became so sad. I used to be so positive and social, I had become a shell of a woman. He fianlly left and I was thankful. It was difficult but I made NO CONTACT with him and went into therapy. To my amazement a couple months later he contacted me to say he was sorry and he was mentally ill. Would I support him to recover and hopefully get back to together. Don’t fall for it, he had lost control because I had not contacted him, he wanted control back and he was fearful of exposure. No matter how much love, compassion, understanding, empathy you have for them you cannot ‘fix’ them, there is no magic cure, they are empty, hollow, vile individuals who are unable to feel love and accept that their words and behaviour is wrong. He was still lying and telling me what I wanted to hear. The golden rule NO CONTACT is so important. I still have mixed feelings, it’s early days, but I keep telling myself that the relationship was not real it was an illusion and he not worth it. I wish everyone who have had the unfortunate experience with a sociopath the strength to move on without them in their lives.
Stay strong. I understand your story. I lived too, I stayed too. I was only able to begin an escape with legal and psychiatric support. You are not alone!
I am so sorry to see this. I have recently come across this website and I can relate to your story. I have just recently found out that my boyfriend of 3 months is a pathological and sociopathic liar! He told me he had been single from 2009 meanwhile he was still dating his girlfriend of 3/4 years. I am glad that I found out before it became too late at least he is not my problem anymore. I feel sad for the poor girlfriend who doesnt know what she is dealing with
My husband of 26 years is a liar. I have come to believe he’s a sociopath. If he says it, in his mind, it’s true. In the first 20 years of marriage, he never said he was sorry. Not once for anything. He’s a job hopper. Always saying he’s going to a better job, now I look back and realize they found him out. He will lie about paying bills while not paying them. I used to pay his bills to protect our credit, but I don’t anymore. I pay my bills. Little lies: He called our son and said he was getting ready for bed, when we were actually two miles from the house driving home. He doesn’t like our adult son and me talking. Because we do compare stories. And the stories don’t match. He will tell me something then swear he didn’t say it. Which used to make me question my sanity. More lies: He called me and said he was going to town to pick up dog food. The next day I asked where it was. He said he left it on the truck. I said it rained. He said he put it in the front seat. I went to get it. No dog food. He said the neighbor got it and took it to the barn. I said I’ve been at the barn the past hour. No dog food, no neighbor. I knew he was lying. When he got home I didn’t say anything. First thing out of his mouth ‘what the hell are you pissed about?’ He owes money to everyone. His excuse ‘their fault for trusting me’. I tried to divorce him, but he told the attorneys that we were working on our marriage and they kept pushing the date. He stalked me, harassed me, friends and family. After almost two years waiting, and he sold almost everything we had accumulated, I went back before we were bankrupt. At least I know where he is. Not knowing where he was, was actually worse. Laws don’t pertain to him. ‘Restraining orders won’t stop a bullet’ he said. Last week he told me the only reason that I was ‘allowed’ back was to prove that ‘he won’. He committed arson last week. Burning his friends truck for insurance scam. We’ve had 3 trucks to burn over the years. I’m afraid our house will burn eventually. He’s a bully. I can’t get away. I would have to change my name, where I work and not have any contact at all with my family. I can’t do that. I don’t have friends. He says he will live longer than me. I pray not.
Julie-
I am sorry that you are in this situation and I feel for you tremendously. I will pray for your safety and that one day you will be able to leave him. I relate to the little stupid lies with my sister, they seem so unnecessary and yet they seem to get a kick out of telling lies to anyone who will listen. Sociopaths are very manipulative and obviously can be dangerous. Hopefully, you will be able to get a restraining order of some sort and get away. Hope life has gotten easier for you.
I recently began working with a guitarist. I have dealt with sociopaths before in many ways and know their evils but he is the worst ever. He began doing strange things to attempt to mess up my singing drain me during practices. And other things. I asked him nicely to stop and he kept doing them. Now he delved in the metaphysical
And was an energy vampire. I didn’t know that but cud sense and he admitted he used to be in the occult. One day he drained me badly and left and there was a cord between us. He began torturijg me soon after badly using metaphysics. Making me a puppet of some sorts. He really just wanted me to suffer bring me down. It was so so bad. He wanted attention. For two weeks he torturd me energetically. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t go to work and I almost had a heart attack. Pathological liar. Never admitted always denied. Even trying to calling him out on being a liar was draining. He was an extreme sociopath. Demonic almost. Torturing a victim denying it then even trying to manipulate me and make me out to be bad. He’d say well if u don’t like me why are u talking to me. I’d say I’m asking u to stop this energy crap??? As if he’s a ten ur old who doesn’t get it. Extremely evil. Some don’t believe in or understand energy vampires or black magic but it’s real and serious. This sociopath still is trying to break me down. If there was not an energy cord thing goijg on he’d have nothing over me but this is his control. It is very serious. He wants to make me suffer and he wants attention. Nothing will get him to stop. He will deny he’s doing it but even once apologized and said it’s out of his control or said well it might be an entity from me doing it. I don’t know how to get rid of this energy demon. He is the worst. I’m in a severe plight here. I’ve dealt with other energy vamps and they r nowhere near as vicious as this monster. He comes across as shy socially awkward and submissive. He is a devious monster and it’s a scary situation.
Reading all of these messages rings so many bells – it’s terrifying.
An old ex of mine contacted me about 15 months ago and we started an affair. We’re both married. Not proud of it, but just being honest (remember that?)
She would compliment me to the hilt, and it was great for the first couple of months, then some strange stories would come out..like her brother in law coming into the bathroom while she’s showering. then I was on holiday with my family for 3 weeks, she claimed to be on holiday with her hubby for the first week too…but never mentioned it, no photos or anything. Then the day before I was due back, she claimed he had found a message I’d sent her and she had to break it off. But within a couple of days she was back again.
But then every few weeks she’d find a reason to fall out…then come back.
Like the time I’d booked a cabin for a week for us, but she went silent a couple of days before and claimed to have collapsed and was in hospital for a few days.
Next…claiming that her hubby had booked a romantic week away to Jamaica for them in October (This was August)..a couple of days before she was supposed to be going away, it changed to Mexico (I’d checked, there were no flights to Jamaica that day – she’d obviously done the same)…we spoke the night before she was due to leave and said she wouldn’t be in touch…I smelt another rat….3 days later I’m outside her house seeing her putting her daughter into a taxi – I made sure she saw me…
Immediately on the defensive – pure defiance ‘Didn’t we go?? We had to come back, my mother in law died’…a few minutes later she died the night before they were due to leave and the suitcases were still in the hall..
Since then she’s slipped up numerous times about her mother in law and other things…
She has since finished our relationship – again – the week before Xmas…says she feels guilty about cheating on her hubby.
Thinking back, there are loads more instances where she has lied…and she knows I know she lied…but refuses to discuss it – just goes off on one.
The thing I can’t understand is that NONE of the lies were necessary.
Reading this site has scared me, but helped me…I won’t be going back to her again, though I know she’ll be back in touch again shortly.
My thoughts go out to all of you who have suffered more than me.
I need help! I’ve torn my family apart with my lies and I feel nothing.
I am so lost. My son is a sociopath. When I chose to start treating him as any other adult, it turned out he didn’t like that. In fact, just the opposite. He started telling people how cruel I was. How I wouldn’t feed him. And so on and so on. He has decided to go to family and tell them that I didn’t want him, so he moved in with them. He is also no longer taking his medication which keeps him a bit in check. People trust him because he looks innocent and charms them. They don’t see the person that glares at me and grits his teeth as he talks to me. Or lies to me, and blames me when I catch him in the lie and then try to turn it around on them. I want to visit my family, but because he is there, I am so uncomfortable.
I don’t want to push him away, but he makes me cry constantly and it is so hard to be strong when he is constantly putting me down. I had to tell him to leave today before an actual fight happened, and my other son had to comfort me because I was so messed up.
Im terrified . My daughter is engaged to one. He was so charming and just incredibly attentive to my daughter. Then I caught him in a whopper. He told us all her was diagnosed with bladder cancer. He had elaborate stories of lesions on CT scans. positive blood tests etc.. I took time of work to comfort my daughter as he was supposedly having surgery to have his bladder removed and a urostomy. Well the truth was he had a uroscopy that took about 15 min. When the MD came to talk to my daughter he said he was completely normal. When asked where was the cancer the doctor looked at us like we were nuts and said who said he had cancer. To which I said you told him he did. He looked me in the face with cold angry eyes and said I don’t know what your talking about he is completely normal. That was when my eyes were opened. Of course he had more lies to explain that this doctor was his doctors partner and because his case was so rare only his doctor knew the intricacies. To this day he has never owned up to the lie and continues to insist he was missed diagnosed with cancer. Well I don’t buy it but, my daughter did. I know she has red flags going off as she wont set a wedding date and is insisting on counseling. How do I get her to see he is a sociopath. She cant fix him. He has no remorse for doing this to us. I research everything he says and continue to catch him in more lies even about the most mundane things. I just don’t understand….my daughter is making excuses for him. I am so distraught.
Hi scared Mom,
What a horrible thing to see your daughter go through. However what Im about to say, may make me seem insensitive and horrible to, but its the truth. You can not separate your daughter from him, or you would have succeeded by now. This is her journey to sort, and only her. If you are going to go out of your way trying to build evidence against him, you may just frustrate her more. It sounds like she is in Domestic Violence, which means she may be struggling with co-dependence,shame, low self-esteem or vulnerability or all of the above. Domestic Violence is not just being physically abused, its emotional, and mental as well. She needs to continue with counselling with or with out him, for her own well-being. The more awareness she can build on her partners behaviour, the stronger and more informed she will become of her situation. Your daughter will be aware of what he is doing, and will probably believe what you have been saying, but she has an inner battle only she can fight with the right help. You may find you will have to be stronger than ever and try and stay humble for her. I know its not easy, and its a big ask, but for your own well-being, may be some counselling to help you deal with the stress hes creating with you and what your watching of your daughter. A counselor can give you tips how to support your girl, and keep yourself safe from his crap. I wish you and your daughter strength and blessings.
Hi there,
I am hurt and manipulated by a compulsive liar or maybe she is a sociopath, help her into getting a stable job because she kept telling me how she was misjudged and maltreated by people. I helped her, took her in my house, treated her like a sister. She managed to hook my brother, now he is madly in love with her. It was too late when i realized that she is crazy, too late because my brother is already under her manipulation and all that my brother think now is I am a very bad person. I love my brother so much and it hurts that I cannot do anything to save him. He hates me and would not listen to me but I cannot do much for him. I quit my job because of this sick lady, I couldn’t tolerate her sickness and she got into my nerves. I am terribly hurt how could a person like this exist.
you need a very good counselor, a qualified clinical psychiatrist with experience. These people can easily fool anyone. Be careful.
I was married to a sociopath for about 8 years. In the first year she was obsessed with becoming a mother. She could not become pregnant though. I am sure that it was a sign from God at the time (and I am not a religious man) but I was obviously to under her spell to see the “sign”.
After many failed IVF treatments. She finally became pregnant with triplets. She went into labor very early. The doctor believed none of the babies would survive. It was going to be another miscarriage. But one little baby (my daughter) survived.
She was in the hospital for months. But she pulled through. I am thankful for my daughter because she is a wonderful little girl (she is now 16 years old, and the light of my world)
My sociopathic ex wife began cheating with a very older man 6 months after our daughter was born. I knew she cheating. I would confront her. But I really had no proof. She had a job but rarely worked. Or at least I never saw a paycheck. Even tho she was constantly “at work” day and night. Finally after about 7 years of never seeing her. And basically raising my daughter alone, I decided to divorce her. I knew she was cheating. The WHOLE TOWN KNEW! I was tired of the whispers when I entered the room. My friends and co workers constantly telling me how they saw her here and there with this man.
I was Truly afraid to file for divorce. I knew what she was capable of. I knew how ugly and nasty she was. I knew she would destroy me. I was afraid for my daughter. Because even though my ex wife was a horrible human being and a horrible mother. I knew she would want custody of our daughter. Just to hurt me. Just to be able to say what a crap father I was.
But I had to let go what I thought she would do to me and how she would destroy my reputation and spread rumors about me. I could no longer be scared of the lies she would tell and what people would think. My daughter at the time was 7 when I filed for divorce. She never really knew what life was like with both mom and dad together. She only knew mom would show up randomly and be fun and bring gifts then leave again.
That was about 8 years ago. But I filed for divorce. And she was infuriated. She blames me for our marriage ending. Even though she married the man she had been cheating with for all those years, as soon as the divorce was final. She uses my daughter against me. Every time I would date someone she would attempt to destroy that relationship. Finally I met a strong woman who wasn’t afraid of my ex wife and who loved me and all my chaos and drama caused by my ex wife. I Have been married to her now for 5 years. It’s been hard on her and me. I told her before we got serious, that I my ex wife would try to destroy her if we married. And my ex wife did. But my new wife handled it with dignity and class. She refused to get into petty fights with my ex. My ex was unable to bait her. Of course this was very stressful on my new wife and me and our relationship. But with consistency and determination we sre finally at a place where we are happy. We have absolutely NO CONTACT with my ex wife. Now that my daughter is 16 and more mature than my ex wife. I realized that EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION WITH THE ex wife was WASTEFUL. She wanted to waste my time. My money. My life. She would tell me one thing about my daughter and it would be lies. She only wanted to “co-parent” to be in control of me. And make sure my life was hard. She would tell me that I needed to pick up my at the school on my weekend and my daughter would not be at the school but instead my ex would check her out of school early and take her places for hours so that I would be on a wild Goose chase just to get my daughter. She did it to waste my time and make my life HARD. My daughter would have no idea that her mother was doing this. But at the age of 11 I got my child a cell phone. And started communicating With her. Since my ex wife refused to make any pick up easy and smooth. Once I was able to talk to my daughter. My daughter would always text me and tell me where she was. Even tho my ex would say “oh you need to pick her up from school”. If my ex wife checked her out early my daughter would text and tell me, “hey dad mom picked me up early so you don’t have to get me from school, I will text you when I get to her house and let you know what time to get me”
My ex wife had no idea my daughter was texting me this info.. She believed for years she was making my life and my wife’s life hard. So I soon just stopped responding to her crap. And communicated only with my daughter. At first my ex was furious about this. Saying that if I did not communicate with her then she would take me to court. It was an empty threat. I ignored those too. Now my daughter is 16, straight A student and a wonderful little human being that I am so proud of. She doesn’t get involved in my ex wife’s drama at all. She is smart and mature, and I couldn’t ask for a better child. Even though my ex wife is evil and heartless and soulless and it is hard to believe that evil is my child’s mother. My child is a joy, it really is a miracle. Because I was afraid for years the impact my ex wife (my daughters mother) would have on her. But my daughter is so stable and emotionally grounded that she isn’t impacted at all by her crazy mother. I have never spoken bad about her mother in front of her. I have never let on that I hated her or that she was an evil, cheating, lying, slandering skank. I felt that if my daughter knew the truth about her mother it would hurt her.
Life has slowly gotten better for me and my wife. Now that we have no contact with my ex. My ex still tries to make contact with my. At first I blocked her from my phone (which she refused to believe that I would do that and blames my wife)
She started sending text from strange numbers – she would never get the hint. So I had to go to the extremes and change my phone number. But I had to keep my old phone number, and I combined the two lines. And any text from my daughter is forwarded to my new cell. I couldnt tell my daughter I had to change my number. She wouldn’t understand and would give new number to her mother. So AT&T set it up that only my daughters number is the only number that can go through to my old number and is forwarded to my new number. It sounds confusing and crazy AND IT IS but I learned when dealing with a sociopath you must be creative and do suck extreme things so that I am not negatively affected by her abusive and demeaning words anymore. So any other text I get from strange numbers or my ex wife. They do not go through, I never see them or receive them. I am pretty sure my ex wife is still sending 30 text a day tho, As she is persistent, relentless ruthless..
I am just relieved I no longer have to worry that if I look at my phone I will have 25 text or 15 missed calls all from this psychotic, delusional woman.
Only people I am close to and work with know about my crazy situation and I have given them my new number. And they already know what a nut my ex is. My boss, actually knows my ex wife’s mother and step dad. He knows of her evil and mentally instability. And not just because of what I have been through but because her own mother has informed him on the how she has stolen from her, physically and emotionally threatened and abused her for 35+ years, the drugs she is on, the heinous things she has done to her entire family.
Honestly marrying a sociopath can destroy your life. And really the sociopath is so “good” at what then do that its impossible to really know you are with one until it is too late. The only way to survive is to be strong. If no children are involved. My advice would be to move. Move far away. Start putting money away, so you can have the financial means to leave without struggle. Find a new job, only tell one or 2 trusted people that you are leaving. People that know your ex is evil and will not tell where you have moved to.
Okay so im going to just put this out there. I am wondering if this is actually me. I lie ALOT ): and i do get some kind of thrill out of it but ive been doing this for years, about 5 years. My lying has caused me to have a bad relationship with my parents and other family members. I dont like to admit i lie, i dont think anyone really feels good about admitting they lie. But the thing is i dont know how to stop and i feel like this is a serious diesease. When you see me in person I just look like a normal happy girl who has no problem talking to people. Im nice to everybody but people dont realize that i have this huge problem. There are times im extremly happy and there are times like a few years ago i was making my mom bawl her eyes out and i didnt care. It didnt faze me at all): i wonder sometimes if im psychotic. But i dont look it at all. Reminds me of the show Criminal minds, i know there ARE people out there with serious illnesses but in person they look totally normal. Could i be one of those people? I sure hope not…
Very brave of you to admit, and shows you have self awareness and probably want to change. Hope you have managed to seek professional help to do this, and best of luck.
I have a half sister who is a sociopathic liar. She is in her 40s and has been this way all of her life. She will lie to anyone about anything for the sheer enjoyment and entertainment of it or to simply get her way. She’s a manipulator and always has been. She plays the victim or turns her reasons for her behaviours around on others and is the most self-destructive individual I’ve ever met. She’s unemployable due to a criminal rap sheet a mile long but of course that is due to everyone else and is no fault of her own. She currently lives with her eldlerly mother who would do anything to get her out of her house but her “mother” syndrome won’t let her see her child out on the street. All she does is wreak havoc in her mother’s life. It’s sad but nothing can be done for these people unless they choose to see their behaviour as wrong and decide to choose to behave differently. I don’t ever see this happening in my family’s case. It’s just a matter of father time or mother justice to come knocking and we don’t know which will show up first.
I’m so tired of trying to get my oldest daughter to believe that everything my mother has told her is a lie my mother is a narcissistic sociopath she has hurt me in more ways then I can count she kidnapped my oldest daughter when she was 4 she lied to me telling me that it was only for 2 weeks when I flu to get her they were gone no were to be found it took 20 years for us to finally see her and that is because she finally found us my mother is in her 90s and she is still horrible still lies still dosent care I can’t even explain how bad my mother has done me I’m so exasted, tired I have no heart left she has hurt me beyond belief is there anybody that can help me please I’m emotionally wore out!!!
How do you get out? I can’t get mine to leave. I am going through the EXACT SAME THING. I am at my wits end. I can’t take it.
I just got out of a 4 year relationship with a master manipulator and it was torture the last 4 months. In the beginning he was charming, hardworking, teary, and a baby-face to go with it. That was Jekyll and a complete masquerade. Hyde emerged to be nothing but a drug addict, unemployable con-artist, thief, breaking and entering, distorting truths and ultimately ***Projecting his own evil behaviors and insane logic to others***. With help from good friends, I was able to get out.
Do not blame yourself, they can and will charm everyone they meet rather than face themselves in the mirror. Leave them far far behind and build your SELF up to help others get out.
I wish I had read this a year ago. I met and dated my fist socio-pathic liar a year ago. She was charming, witty, and charismatic. Turned out to be a manipulative narcissist and a cheater. It was with an other man whom she had a past relationship with but his that relationship from me even though I directly asked about it. Then, even when she admitted to dating him for weeks before ending it with me, she denied that is was cheating! Then she blamed me for it with phrases like “you f*ked up”. When I called her out on the fact she was blaming me, she said “there you go using the word “blame” again. I’m not blaming you. We’re just different”. It was impossible to communicate with her.
Worst of all, a month after the relationship ended, I tested positive for genital herpes HSV2. She actually saw my first outbreak, and said nothing. I confronted her about hiding it from me, and she changed the subject and every time. Never admitted or denied even though the tests proved I just got he infection. I even talked with a lawyer who said my tests made it a relatively easy case. When i told her I was going to sue her, she said she’d counter sue me for defamation.
Yes, she would be defamed if the truth about her got out. But in the end, I just need to thank God she’s out of my life. I got lucky only having an STD. I feel bad for the guy she left me for.
I started work at a school and formed a great friendship with a man who appeared to have all the likes and dislikes I had. Early in our friendship he told everyone at work that his dad was poorly and took a week off to be with his dad. The following week he took off more time to arrange his father’s funeral. His dad was wealthy and left several mill to his children! Anyway, my friend would make arrangements with me to do things, and then would have to cancel because there was some business dilemma or another and he had to do this and that whilst continuing to work full time. We were due to go to an opening night of a show in London that a friend of his was appearing in…He bought us tickets for the show my friend told me. The week before the show my friend said the show had been postponed for a week. This was a top West end show and I believed him after all I couldn’t imagine someone lying about that. I forgot about the show but on the night it was supposed to happen originally I couldn’t get him on the phone. I looked up the show and there was a good luck message from the new york cast and crew. I was upset and felt that my friend was embarrassed to be seen out with me! Stupidly I said nothing to him but told someone else. A few weeks later we still hadn’t been to see the “opening night” of the show but he also told me that he had been invited to pick up a posthomous award for his father from the royal artillery. He said he was at their headquarters in forest hill and I knew the hq was in woolwich…. don’t know why I knew this but probably read it somewhere so I checked and I was write. He then showed me photos of royal family members that were there and these were then plastered in ok magazine the following week. So he must have been a paid journalist too. And it was the photos that started making me disbelieve him. And I still sad nothing. I thought he was a compulsive liar or a fantasist initially. I even tried to cover up his lies to stop people at work catching on. The final straw came when I went shopping at a local supermarket and saw his car. We were supposed to be going to look visit my family for a birthday gathering and I was running late. I texted him to ask h8m where he was, meaning within the supermarket. He replied that he was sorry he couldn’t come with me today as he was with his family over 200 miles away as his niece had attempted suicide. I drove off as I was embarrassed by the blatant lie. I resigned from work and left. Part of me hoped that he would apologise for the lies etc. I still did not realise how big they were. I left work. Within 3 days he stopped speaking to me. He told former work colleagues that I had stalked him and sat outside his house (I had actually moved from Hampshire to kent claiming I was homesick and have never been there since ). He said that he thought I was gougeon to kill him and moved in with a female he claimed he hated but had to for his own safety and he said that I had stolen half a million pound off him. He completely portrayed me as having mental health issues (which I am not going to deny put me in a serious depression for about 18 months). I actually convinced myself that looking on the Internet to validate two stories he had told me warranted being called a stalker! As time has healed though I have looked on the Internet at people he has told stories about. The niece did not attempt suicide. He has a child with his former best friend who he told me had stalked him previously. And his dad isn’t dead! I don’t want revenge anymore….I would like to explain to the people at work who have turned on me…but I can’t now as no one would believe me after the character assassination. I’m not asking for help or guidance. I’ve just never written this down before and wanted to dump it out of my life
Wow this sounds just like my husband..we have been together for 13 and married for 7..he is everything that is described and more…just yesterday I found out he had been texting a girl while i was at work everynight and buying her things.. he had left me for her years ago..not only once but twice!! I thought I could change him because I love him soo much but he is the most manipulative non caring person in my life..so now there will be an ugly divorce and I hope he is happy with that…he will not get help for his actions!! He is playing the sociopathic game with me to get a thrill I suppose!! Why can’t they find a cure…I wanted him in my life…we have 3 beautiful children and I don’t want them hurt…it’s always what are you talking about or just being nice to get what he wants…the last words he said to me before he left was don’t call me unless you are going to help me!!
Im not sure what my ex is but 10 months of lies from money to lies about her ex, claiming he was stalking her ringing the police on him. Gates and noises at night when I wasnt there when I was nothing. Warnings from her friends and exs I still ignored she wanted to have a baby get married she had been raped when she was 17 but forgot she told me that and next it was 19 and had to have a dna test on her eldest. Told lies about her mates and I always wondered why her family didnt bother with her we did end up pregnant I think got defensive when I bought a test because she already done 3 of hers all positive mine negative. But I think she fell lucky cause although cant be 100% cent sure but when she said it again I was there when we lost it at the hospital. However a month later she lost another as an excuse for her aggressive behaviour. All little lies some pointless and totally unessecary. To other to be deceitful and to get what she wanted. Well we broke up properly 19th of december she moved on very quickly she is now messaging me that she is 5 months pregnant even though the scan is 5 years old non of her friends have any idea bar 1 who is indulging her. She told me she was in hospital and had the baby a boy btw and no matter that people have told me they have seen her out and about I absolutly adamant she is telling the truth. It was 10 months of hardwork and turning a blind eye. Most of her friends have now realised this but I feel sorry for her and feel because she has 2 kids and a past of bad relationships mostly leading to her or kid being assaulted by her exs I feel the need to try and help her. She is with the fella I mentioned and im in a new relationship and do have a child on the way and very happy but I just feel obliged to help as I think this may stem from losing the original baby
Wow can I relate to all the stories, I lived with this guy that we were to be married, but soon realized that he could not be trusted in what he was telling me, well it lasted six months and we both went our ways,which was a Blessings , as it was getting worse as time went on, I could not believe much he was telling me and turned everything around to make it all my fault.Anyhow I am very glad that I do not have to deal with this guy no longer. I pray for all whose lives are affected with this illness.
I had this happen twice. My whole life taken from me. The 2nd time worse… This one took my family too. He even lied that I did something to him and I did not. I do not believe in violence and its his word against mine. My mother even said it, he’s using my past against me. The man I trusted with my whole heart. I knew him as a teen and a child. Our families knew each other before we were born. I ran into him more than 2 years ago at his moms house. I was glad to see an old friend because I had just gotten out of a bad relationship with someone who had a past history that I did not know completely about. We were friends at first and I was happy with that, but then we broke the barrier, we got married. I was scared of that, but again,we go back farther then our memories take us, so I did it. I now regret it because I was what is called, gaslighted. I found this by just googling my symptoms. I was shocked at what I found. We were only together 3 weeks when he left. He has driven me from my home, lied to everyone, including the authorities and my employet
I am also victimt of not only my sister being a sociopath and ruining my childhood, my teenage yrs and my self worth , I then married a narcissist bipolar manipulative man who after 35 yrs of hell.ni told him tonite im done. You know what he said to me..if i think my sister ruined my life with lies , i have no idea what hes done and now its time to finish me off ,what my sister couldnt do , he can and has been setting me up for the kill. Wow. Im at a loss for words…
To: Another victim of abuse, That is twisted. I have experienced that these people will say anything tying to keep a position of power and control over their victims. One lie will cover the next lie,
Fits of rage and finger pointing right back at you. At all costs they will protect their fragile ego which they outwardly display as grandiose. Their self esteem is clearly the worst at best. Though I have compassion for people with problems and disabilities I also have it for myself. These people will stop at nothing to lie minipulate and simply feel powerful from the tactics. To participate in it is just participating in a made up crazy space in another’s head.
I have the misfortune to live in a condo where the Homeowner’s Association’s president is one of these people. Sociopathic liar. I know people lie. I’ve told lies, but I hate it when I do. I went to a school where the Honor System was taken very seriously. You got caught in a lie; you were OUT and never coming back. So, I really, really don’t understand people who lie constantly.
This guy is partially paralyzed and spends most of his time in a wheelchair. Therefore he gets a pass on a lot of things, people making allowances out of pity, although they’d never admit it. He is charming in his own way…people seem to like him for some reason. I have caught him in any number of lies. Speaking of numbers, you can absolutely rely on any number he quotes to you to be a lie. And that really bugs the accountant in me. It’s difficult to confront this guy simply because of the close quarters we all live in. People here keep their mouths shut and don’t complain because we’re all neighbors. Don’t rock the boat. Don’t be a troublemaker.
Now he’s taken to verbally bullying me. Calls me “friend” when he knows I despise him and that calling me “friend” infuriates me.
I can see that a lot of people have used this website to vent their frustrations. I could do the same, and go on and on, but I won’t. I can only thank my lucky stars that I don’t run into him more than once a week or so. I can’t imagine having to deal with someone like that all the time.
I work with a guy like this. We work in a technical field. He doesn’t have much technical knowledge or drive. He takes our work and presents it as his own. He lies about everything. It is really weird to watch. He has worked at the company for 6 years but yesterday he said it was 7. I don’t know if he can tell the truth. It is very frustrating to work with this individual. Thanks for the article. It was helpful.
This sounds like my daughter. She is 17 and lies and manipulates everyone, she has been doing it for years. Everyone has tried to help her but, getting nowhere. Her latest out of a whole line of lies, is me finding out she told her boss she needed to leave her job as her dad has terminal cancer and he will die any day now so, she needs to go live with them and help her stepmum look after her brothers and sisters…there is nothing wrong with her dad, he doesn’t even have as much as a sniffle. I’m shocked, embarrassed and disgusted at her. I have given her so many chances to admit she is lying but, lies on top of her lies. I just need to know what to do to help her or is she unhelpable???
I feel like I’m reading the same story as my daughters situation. Did you find any help? I feel lost that it may be too late my daughter is older. Can these personalitys change? Is it too late because they have been like this for too long? God what does this future hold , this scares me as s mother!
I feel like I’m reading the same story as my daughters situation. Did you find any help? I feel lost that it may be too late my daughter is older. Can these personalitys change? Is it too late because they have been like this for too long? God what does this future hold , this scares me as s mother!
I am facing the same pain. I got rid of her but she still haunts me and i still love her. She did terrible things to me. Horrible
My father was a textbook psychopath/pathological liar. We lived in a small town, where my mom’s family has lived for generations. My father had innumerable affairs with women in town. Later, he branched out and had affairs with various women around the country (his jobs required travel). To my knowledge, I have at least 4 half siblings (who I’ve never met) from those affairs.
His cheating was rarely well concealed but he didn’t seem to care. He would make excuses & go on to do it again. My mom was very intelligent but had a very sheltered upbringing. As she would say later, she had no idea that people like him existed.
During their marriage, my father would mysteriously quit jobs & leave the bread-winning to my mom for moths at a time. No shame or guilt on his part.
When I was 12, he left & they finally divorced. Instead of doing the right thing & allowing his children to remain in the house we grew up in, he insisted upon keeping the house for himself. We moved out of town & naturally he refused to pay court-ordered child support, college tuition or any other expenses.
Unfortunately, my parents reconciled for a couple of years before my mom realized that a leopard does not, in fact, change its spots. While they were back together, my father had a high profile job. His education had always been a fuzzy issue but the area newspaper discovered that his claim of having a Ph.D (& other degrees) was a lie. An article was published & the whole family (apart from him) was humiliated.
He was a bright, charming person who was liked by everyone, though they had no idea what he was really like. I stopped counting the number of times he lied or failed to keep his word, including promising to wire me money to return from my overseas studies. No money ever arrived & I had to borrow a small amount of cash to pay baggage fees. Luckily, my mom had bought the ticket, etc.
When he was approximately 55, he decided to stop working & let his girlfriend support him. He literally watched TV all day & had a few affairs while waiting for her to come home from work & wait on him. I basically stopped communicating with him at that point.
My (bi-polar) sister stayed in touch with him & was perpetually disappointed but they shared their love of trashing me.
I paid an insurance policy on him for years because I knew he would not leave money for a funeral & I’d be on the hook for that. The policy became a bit pricey & I asked him to pay a portion of the premium. He refused but when he passed away, I discovered that he had left a small policy which named my sister as beneficiary.
I wonder what effect his behavior would have had on me if not for my amazing mother. There are so many other examples of his psychopathy but I want to thank the folks on this site for making it so clear to me. You’ve confirmed that I absolutely did the right thing by keeping away from him.
My brother has nothing but pictures of himself all over his house. Biggest liar ever. Used to be in football was rarely ever played. He was in Marines and Navy weekend warrior and has lots of pictures of himself in uniform. He uses those pictures to project himself as popular, hero type to totally unsuspecting people soon to be victims as he lues,/ manipulates/to con, brainwash, get himself out of trouble and it works for him 99% of the time!!!!! Charming, sociable, outgoing… but zero compassion or concern for others unless it’s to benefit his ulterior motives. Really bad evil guy.Wolf in sheep’s clothing. He even says he knows what it feels like to have the devil inside….what he told our neighbor after he ran over his Russian mail order ex wife and her boyfriend… after he did his Evil deed he said he felt good, yawned and said he was going to sleep, afterwards he said he slept like a baby. He was nine years old when I got married and moved away at age 22….I didn’t know I had a little demon monster brother and thought I had the best brother ever when I returned 25 years later to help our elderly mom with our dying dad . When Dad had a second heart attack, his heart being worked on in the er…we are still waiting for my brother to get there like he told us he’d be, wondering when he will get there and dad asking for him…he never came because he was having a BBQ to show off his new home to all our relatives he always talked about badly and hated. His house got foreclosed but not before he got mom to borrow 15k to pay for a whole years worth of missed house payments… all a waste…then lots and lots of lies, false allegations, false reporting to Police, APS,Animal Control, City ordinances, asking various people,neighbors, thugs,druggies,dealers to call police and make up lies about me retaliating against me after he assaulted me and our 86 yr. Old mom called police and he was arrested, but a friend bailed him out same night, I had to go to a woman’s shelter to get protective order.. He was escorted out by constables from my mom’s house which has only escaladed his Evil attacks,bullying, stalking, etc. I used to be a frightened willy nilly innocent sister…but he has helped hardened me to expect his never ending constant bs, and am always ready and empowered myself with a gun…I carry it with me always… One day I was getting groceries from car and noticed a car pretending it was going to hit me ,BuT…
… 🙂 I had my gun resting on the seat…and I smiled to myself when I saw the car stop with four huge guys …and I said let’s get the party started…. I was totally fearless from that moment on. My brother is a punk and bully….imagine picking on his own mom who is a total saint…Just beware of the guy who portrays himself to be the Hero Marine and the ex high school football player….scary monsters lurk beneath his masks…
My husband and I are getting a divorce because my daughter is a sociopathic liar. My 2 sons were trying to tell me for years. We were married for 32 years. He believes everything that she says which is what I did until I finally figured it out. I left for my own safety. She became angry and broke down the door to my bedroom. She became abusive. Is that normal behavior?
I am very damaged, injured, and ruined by these sociopath types! So many of you describe exactly how they are!!! Please stay true ourselves to help ward them off! Something needs to be done! Why are people that lie, trick, decieve, manipulate, to this degree, ruining good peoples lives, not locked away in dungeons to rot until death?! Our justice and law are undermined by these types, why even build myself a life if a liar can ruin it and is not even held accountable?!? Lying to this degree deserves punishment yet they are giving speeding tickets?!? It’s like murderers and rapists roaming free, even getting rewarded. These sociopaths ruin peoples lives! Are sociopaths even human?? They are diaboilical, a hiarchical army of demons with unending tricks who wish to corrupt good people. This country needs need Law and exorcists before they turn it to Hell, if it’s not too late already.
I am very damaged, injured, and ruined by these sociopath types! So many of you describe exactly how they are!!! Please stay true ourselves to help ward them off! Something needs to be done! Why are people that lie, trick, decieve, manipulate, to this degree, ruining good peoples lives, not locked away in dungeons to rot until death?! Our justice and law are undermined by these types, why even build myself a life if a liar can ruin it and is not even held accountable?!? Lying to this degree deserves punishment yet they are giving speeding tickets?!? It’s like murderers and rapists roaming free, even getting rewarded. These sociopaths ruin peoples lives! Sociopaths are a diaboilical, hiarchical army of demons with unending tricks who wish to corrupt good people. This world needs new Law and exorcists to deal with this pandemic before they turn it to Hell, if it’s not too late already.
I think im going through the same problem with my boyfriend of 4 years and I love him so much thats why im still here but im considering leaving. I broke up with him yesterday but a part of me wants to go back. The recent incidence that broke us up is when he started seeing some girl behind my back since last year according to her. The contacted me on one of the social media asking how I know him because she saw our pictures. She tells me they have been dating for around 4 months. To her he said im an ex and then when she sends him our pictures he says im a friend. When I ask him about her he says she’s just a girl he knows, nothing is happening between them. He was talking to us separately but saying opposite things to both of us so since we are in contact we compared notes. To me he says it’s just a girl he met at the library, he hasn’t seen her in a while. Shes lying about what she told me, she wants what she cant have. She wants what I have to she is just playing me. She doesn’t love her and has never slept with her. To her he says he is her boyfriend, saying he will treat her like a queen if she allows him, he asked her if she is still his woman since she was angry about the pictures (this was before I confronted him, so he talks to her without knowing I know about her). The I ask him about what said to that girl because she sent me the screenshots, he says it wasn’t him who typed that. I was shocked! He is very emotionally abusive and the strangest thing is that this girl is new but has also experienced the emotional abuse, he even told him about it. He would accuse her of cheating if he is not answering his calls or when she goes out he will be talking about her meeting other men while he does the same thing to me. He is very charming, the smartest guy I know and he will make you very happy but when he makes you said its also to the extremely. At some point I had an anxiety attack because of an argument we had. Sometime last year I came across the word narcissist on Facebook so I did not know what it meant and when I googled it, I just most of the things he does tables in narcissist behaviour. I’m just so hurt, I just wish I never met him 🙁
Did you stay with him? It’s very hard to break away when your conditioned to it. I found reading about gaslighting really helpful. All the best to you.
Can this behavior be considered mental cruelty in a divorce proceedings?
I lived through life with a sociopath 20 years ago. We have a son who is now in his twenties. I escaped the relationship when my son was 3. His father abused us both and showed no interest in him unless being observed. He dragged me through the courts for nearly two years, from family court to crown. In family court his father was seated beside me and used the hearing to speak/ touch me. I was blessed with a great solicitor and barrister who fought my case for me. The case wasn’t properly heard until Crown where the Judge berated the court welfare officer for allowing the case to go on so long. Every word of my account was true and the Judge found that the father had changed his story at every turn. The order was made that there was to be no supervised access for the father and no parental responsibility, despite his name being on the birth certificate. The legal team was of the opinion that I would need counseling in the future to deal with what had happened to us.Shortly after the case ended, I made the opportunity of a new life in a new country.
I didn’t tell my son all about his father or what had happened to us because he is half of us both and I think we should all be let make our own judgements if they need be made. I assumed that nurture would allow him the ability in later life to meet his father, make his own judgement with a grounding that wouldn’t alter how he felt about himself.
My son found his half siblings on facebook and I did a bit of checking and it appeared like grooming. My son was also very difficult in his own right. Now he is the exact replica of his father. There isn’t one word from his mouth with a grain of truth and he loves to get one over on someone. He is a dangerous individual and I pity anyone who is sucked in. He says that I lied in court and nothing I said the father did is true. He says he’s read his father’s court papers and that I had taken him to a different country illegally. I know the truth and I’m sure his father is very upset to have not been able to keep taking me through court until my son was 18.
Being a believable pathological liar my son has taken to a complete public character assassination of myself by press, radio, social media and in person. It was so unbelievable to me that the time to redress the press has passed. I’d like to say how did this happen to me, but I met his father and so I’m to blame. My job was in the public eye and I battled my own private nature to do what needed to be done, but I couldn’t keep it together when strangers abused me over my sons lies. I probably need the counseling now but I won’t avail of it because I don’t trust anyone. I never wanted to be old and bitter, but it’s getting that way if I’m not there already.
Also, I was reading on here about “proof”
Proof is irrelevant in my experience with sociopathic liars. Their word is fact and there is nothing else no matter what the proof. There is no point in arguing with them, show them every bit of proof in existence but it’s not their reality because it doesn’t suit their need/supply. Watching you turn yourself inside out trying to prove something is a thrill to them and you’re supplying it. Walk away, close all contact but what happens when it feels like everyone believes them? The person I was is gone and sometimes I think I grieve for her.
It’s true and because most of people think that they’re dependent on other people or they don’t have any skill to live a good life, they commit such things. If a man or woman is aware what skills he or she have then they can stop it, simply fooling others, thinking they’re smart at it. A reasonable person wouldn’t commit such acts of follies, so don’t tie a friendship with such fools who consider themselves much smarter than you.
I recently got out of a relationship with a sociopath. I am still devastated. I never knew what a true sociopath was. (i thought a sociopath was a crazy person wielding a knife. Nope, he/she looks like you and me and most people think they’re normal…..unless they get closer.) I had found out my sociopath told his ex that he had a terminal brain tumor so he could be i a relationship with me. I gave up my apartment/job and moved to his town. I found a fake letter buried in his desk and his ex was posting that the socio was overseas having treatment. I WAS LIVING WITH HIM. Fortunately, i was suspicious of the letter because he was totally healthy and a doctor friend verified that the letter was a fraud. My conscience struggled with it for a few weeks and he didn’t know I found the letter. FInally, My conscience got the better of me…and I knew I had to just got out and leave….and I did that despite how devastating it was. He put on a great show. (Two days later, my sisters said there was a pic of him on facebook hanging out with his bear musclefriends (which i never knew about it. He promptly took the pic of FB so he could “act” mourning. I told the ex that he wasn’t overseas and the socio was able to convince him that i was lying….even after I showed him proof of me being with him. The ex is now back with him (now I know what hoovering is) while I try to put my life back together. I have never experienced anything like this UP CLOSE. It’s been three months and I still don’t know what hit me.
I married my wife just last Fall. I have recently found out my she has been lying to me about some important things. She doesn’t react when I give her an obvious chance to fess up. She ignores, deflects, or denies and comes up with more lies for excuses, even lying about what friends say.
I had taken a light duty prescription sleep aid one night about two months ago. In the morning she woke me saying that she had called an ambulance in the middle of the night. Said she had a panic attack, hard to breathe and pain in her chest. Said that she couldn’t wake me during the night and asked the EMTs not to wake me. Says she refused transport. I was shocked.
A few days ago after having caught her in various other lies I called the local emergency services communications office. There have been NO calls to our address, since we moved her 13 months ago…
Have I really married a sociopathic liar? An NPD?
We are going to counseling Monday, if she doesn’t find some excuse to get out of it (she actually suggested it). I am going to confront her with this and other lies. I have print out from EMS and a recording of us discussing the non-existent bill from the ‘ambulance call’ she will not be able to persuade the counselor that I’m mistaken or lying. She has been seeing a personal counselor for 2 years whom I have met. I wonder if she has been lying to that counselor also?!
Doesn’t a mental health professional have to notify/warn a spouse when their patient is sick like this?! (If they haven’t been manipulated too?)
My wife has also recently deleted most of her old Facebook posts. I never really read them, don’t do Facebook. Maybe I should have.
Run fast , don’t look back she is a pathological liar , there is no cure , no hope, nothing . Pathological lying is a learned behavior. Read up on “gray rock” method , these individuals thrive on our reactions, especially to all their lies .
So what can we do? My granddaughter’s other grandmother is one. She successfully got a peace order against me for the most outlandish story, even though I had witnesses to prove she was a liar.
The judge believed her with absolutely no proof no dates, no names, no places, just pathetic stories with pathetic tales of emotional destress.
I was never anywhere near her.
She is out to get me and her daughter is almost as good as she is.
The judge got totally snowed. I have to deal with this because I’m trying to save my granddaughter from abuse and neglect. I’ve gone broke from lawyers who see it, but can’t do anything about it.
Don’t go blaming the Bipolar’s, I am one. I am type 2, but still take medications, which help. Got a new neighbor, she tells so many lies, I am the one who has a restraining order against me. She is so sweet to the judge. She makes stuff up, which seems reasonable, but totally untrue. I though maybe she hallucinates. But I Googled it and found she is a sociopath. She is aggressive and wants to dominate everyone and everything. I am timid and she is a butch and she scares me (and much bigger than me and 15 years younger). At one time she had a live in boyfriend. I heard she picked a fight with him and then called the cops on him. He got a domestic violence restraining order on him, poor guy. There is nothing I can do-just stay away from her